Wasted

Wasted 11 yrs dealing w/ this bi polar and a mental health system.
Haven't met one dr or worker that actually cares.
Put me on disability, and stick me in a file.
I just want to not wake up. Dr's talk the talk but don't walk the walk. just a paycheck.

[adel_ezz]

don't be desperate, you can never tell like you fell ill suddenly you may get cured also suddenly so have faith in God.

As to the psych group pdocs, therap, all the whole bunch not that they don't care but believe me they don't know that much. All mental health problems are very and extremely complicated. It isn't like surgery where the surgeon can see it with bare eyes. it will take ages until they come with a real breakthrough.

at least you live in a decent country where the pdocs behaviour is regulated by laws. in my country there is no much difference between a shoemaker and a pdoc. the 1st handle your shoes whereas the 2nd your brain. in fact i see shoemakers much safer to deal with because the shoes are not part of you. the 1st do you a favor at least.

again think of others sure there are who are in a much worse situation than you. at least you got the disease in your thirties whereas i got it in 19 i.e. still a long way to go and this torments me. besides you have disability or so-called pension which doesn't exist here. "normal" people are not looked after here neither can find a job so how come someone with a problem can be looked after. etc...etc...etc... so don't be so alarmed. besides the more you get angry the more it inflicts on your brain, so it isn't all chemical but also psychological

[munevz]

Been dealing w/ this 11 yrs in florida, new hampshire, georgia, missouri, montana, and iowa. not inexperianced, just had enuff.
When I was 16, (42 now) died from a allegic reaction to demerol, in the hospitol...just under a min. didn't see anything to make me believe in a god. was just nothing.
not slamming religion. what people believe is their business.
been in 2 state hospitol's, and various other ward's and clinic's around the country.
I do not believe in dr's or therapist's, nothing more than paycheck collecting fakes that can't be trusted.
that's my experiance w/ the system, and north iowa clinic isn't doing anything to change that belief.

[adel_ezz]

i agree with you totally. it's just am trying to say that mental business is difficult to understand to the pts as well as the doctors themselves.

[ApRiLGeTsAngry77]

I am sorry you have had such a hard time dealing with and coping with bipolar. Just think how strong you are to live through all that you have been through! Right there would be all the motivation I need to keep moving along! You should be an inspiration to others. To not give up. Be persistant with your requests with your treatments! Don't give up! You have come to far!

Here is a poem that I have turned to when I have felt like giving up. It always makes me feel better and gives me the motivation to keep going. I sure hope it has the same effect on you!


                   Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

- Author unknown

Hang in there!

[munevz]

I refuse treatment now. I can waste my time alone alot easier, than w/ a paycheck catching medical ''pro''.