What do you believe

[Darkestlight]

Do you believe that people with bipolar can control their actions...... well not their actions per say, but like their anger? I mean obviously we have some control over our actions or else we'd all be in jail for murder. However I get tired of people not understanding how hard it is for us to control our feelings. Maybe it's just me who has a hard time with this, but I don't think that's the case. Anyone else frustrated that ppl dont understand?

[Twelvesgirl]

I understand being pregnant and hormones is hard too. Also not being able to take the medicine you come to trust. I don't trust that my medicine will help me yet, because I actually never stay on it long enough to trust it, so kudos to you for that! Good job! Totally sorry about telling about my husbands stupid ex! I am raising her kids as my own they are children and I am their mommy, because I love them :) I just get heated! Thats one thing, the anger, I can blame on the bipolar, one thing I really need to work on. It is SO hard. And true love for yourself and your children is a good start to being able to get there I think, maybe thats just meditation jibberish, but I really feel like trying to learn to love and accept myself for this chaos head....ugh....I don't know, it's all so very hard. I hope you're feeling well and you're bundle in your belly is well. Congratulations!

[Darkestlight]

I agree with a couple things you all have said. I think environment has a great affect on who someone is. What they experience growing up makes a difference. My parents have always been there for me. I think my anger stems from seeing it when I was a child. My parents fought  A LOT when I was younger. I blocked a lot of things out in my head cause my brain still can't process the things I experienced or seen at such a young age.
I think Anger can be manged with proper medicine. I've been on good doses of stuff before that worked. Now I am finding it hard to control it cause I am pregnant and barely on enough lamictal to do anything, 100mg. My last stable dose over a year ago, before pregnancy was 400mg. Plus abilify I believe. It's been a while so I can't remember the last stuff I was on.
I am also suffering from depression right now. I go back to my doc on May 1st. My anger is not doing any good  for me. I feel out of control when I'm mad which in turn raises my blood pressure and that's not good when I'm pregnant so...... Obviously there are lines I would not cross, like hurting my kids or walking out of their life. No matter how manic I was, I would NEVER leave my girls. My husband possibly, doubtful though.

[velvetvenus]

i too have anger issues with being bipolar and they are very hard to control. you just have to stop and think if what you're doing, you will have to apologize for later. i hate to apologize and very rarely do. i think with the right medicine it can be somewhat controlled but it is still almost impossible sometimes especially when someone pushes your buttons. try to stay away from those people or talk to them about it when you're not angry. i sometimes can no more control my anger than i can my panic attacks or the weather! it's frustrating and you are not alone. it takes so long to find the right medicine combination that people often give up but just hang in there, see your psychiatrist and psychologist or therapist as often as you need to in order to find a better way of dealing with anger. i have an uncontrollable urge to spend money online or at a store and have yet to find a medicine for that! ha ha. i take prozac for depression, abilify for mania, xanax for anxiety, vyvanse for adhd and the list goes on and on for other afflictions but the abilify helps some with anger by controlling some of the mania which can lead to outbursts. i'm on the strongest dose but still have problems. just, like i said, try to think if what you're doing you'll have to apologize later for, leave the situation and pray or something, listen to music, buy a punching bag or go for a run or brisk walk....do something physical to direct your energy towards.  good luck

[Twelvesgirl]

OK, now let me answer the ACTUAL question :)
Anger, I do have anger problems.
It is extremely hard to control, but it is controllable. I've never been an angry person, and I think that daily stresses aggrivate the anger. I'm rapid cycling and in mixed episodes daily, and I have 3 kids under the age of 6. Being unstable makes it really hard to control my anger outbursts, I often have to give myself TIMEOUTS, because I've found myself getting very angry w/ my kids over literally spilled milk. It's like teaching an old dog new tricks, as a youngster I wasn't very angry, as a teenager my anger flaired up w/ episodes. It wasn't such a problem when I didn't have kids, but now I have to re learn how to control it, or atleast remain calm enough to get myself and my kids seperated. I truly apologize for my longwinded answer before that really wasn't about your question at all! I go off on tangents a lot.

[Twelvesgirl]

Yes people DEFINITELY can control their actions! Its something that you have to learn though I think, and its something that I'm working on. I agree w/ Delusion in that it is environmental stuff that shapes and molds a person on how to act. Let me give you a small example about environment, probably TMI but oh well you're not my neighbor I hope!! Myself a bipolar sufferer. My husbands EX wife (strangely...also bipolar)
I was raised in a home where my parents loved me, they taught me unconditional love, they loved me when I was depressed, they loved me when I dropped out of school at a young age, they loved when when I had sex at a young age, they loved me when they found alcohol in my room at a young age, they loved me when I told them I hated them, and I could go on and on and on. NOW, the EX wife, her parents, did not teach her that kind of love, they did not love her through those kinds of things, she did those same types of things, they loved her w/ conditions, they made her feel lower than them, and made her feel like an outcast (I know this because I know her). I've told you all of this to get to my point. She and my husband had two children and in a mania she bailed, she left him and their children and has not been back in almost 4 years. WHY? Her oldest daughter is severely disabled, and too hard to take care of, her own words, she left because of her daughter. It was a learned behavior. It was not mania that made her leave her family, her mania was a tool to get her out of a situation that she wanted to run from in the first place. The other child is not disabled yet she did not love that child enough to stay close either. This kind of lack of love for a child and blame it on bipolar I dont understand.
I have bipolar, I left my exhusband in a mania, there was never a thought for a moment to leave my child behind. We all have a choice, and we can only blame so much on our illness. Some is morals, and how we were raised. I've had to explain that to my husband, I'm not her, I wasn't raised the same way as her, I am bipolar, but I have very strong morals, and I am a good person. I strive everyday to be a good person. And she thrives on being a bad person. I'm not saying that because of my dislike for her. I feel bad for her, shes very sick, she doesn't take care of herself, she really does thrive on being naughty! Anyway, that is WAY too much information, but not ALL people w/ bipolar are the same. Personalities, temperments and the like are all different. I wish my husband understood that a little better...
Sorry as you all get to know me better you'll grow to love my rants and ramblings! I promise!

[bastet56]

Unmedicated, no, medicated and under control, yes, but better controlled with talk therapy too. My biggest issues were spending and awful anger which was dangerous to everyone around me as well as myself. Left on my own without meds, I would have self destructed and died long ago. I am hard to medicate and fear the day when there are no longer any meds to help me.

[Delusion]

Yes we can control our anger something that comes with the label of bipolar are a number of associations ive found.. 3 main things that are very common in a lot of sufferers are 1.) Extreme violence or anger issues, 2.) Sexual promiscuity 3.) Substance abuse of drugs and alcohol.

I for one will freely admit number 3 is me in a nutshell, number 2 not really its just not the kind of person i am, but number one the anger which is the topic in question in Darkestlights post is the one thing i have NEVER had a issue with. I have always been pacifist. I am bipolar i have been bullied very heavilly a lot of my life, abused to some extent, grown up around dangerous areas with much beatings and i have been around those kinds of people my entire life except none of this has effected my temper.

I know these are enviromental and psychological things but i dont think any of us as bipolar sufferers are born to be violent and angry. I must admit from being on this site and hearing peoples accounts and through my own research and work a lot of bipolar sufferers are like this but it has always seemed to be due to theyre circumstances and the events in theyre lives.

I havnt really answered your question as well as i could having a bit of a mind block today but my basic opinion is we can control it.

We always have a choice and a will no matter how hard it is to see at times and its never to late to do the right thing.

[Venora Moonwind]

Yes with meds and therapy bi polar folks can control their actions. I do however understand the frustration with others that dont understand  bi polar. I think that is because of the media and others perceptions of it.

The therapy really helps to understand how we react to others and how we can control our responses.
Love Venora