What does this mean?

[beautifulbritty712]

The DSM specifies at least four episodes of mood disturbance over the last 12 months to at least two months in remission and back or by a switch from one pole to the other.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

In response to your question are other people like this; everyone is affected by each mental illness in a different way and I'm really confident when I say no one is the same and I have no confidence from my self esteem being destroyed.  It's not like you automatically become clones when you develop mental illness!  I'd tell you which form of Bipolar Disorder is more common but I can't find any info on it so the other people here are going to have to give some input.

[beautifulbritty712]

Oh and thank you guys for your responses I forgot to say that and one more thing- are more people bp1 or 2?

[beautifulbritty712]

Also, I meant I'm afraid she thinks I want special treatment. Not she thinks I deserve it. See, I am having so much trouble getting my words right, I don't know what to do about that.

[beautifulbritty712]

Oh my gosh I have been sitting here feeling the signs of hypomania, the restlessness and racing thoughts ane what I noticed mostly, but I was starting to think yesterday and today I am not even bipolar, maybe everyone is happy and feels like this a lot, maybe what I really have is just depression or something. The thought was making me excited. Then I got talked to- I keep asking about whether similar parts are ok to pass or not, I need to make my own judgement call. I was also told the boss was getting mad and frustrated with me. Of course, this hit me by surprise but she was really nice about how she said it to me. I started obsessing-  I was thinking things like I'm going to lose this job now, I lose every job because of this kind of thing. I either start my job depressed and lose it within a couple days because I won't talk to people and am just not friendly or I will be hypomanic and they love me (at least I think they do) and something small like this will happen and I'l leave. If I do make it through the hypomania and depression without losing my job, it's over when the mania hits. I call in all the time because I can't stand to be there, I'll fight with people over stupid things. I started thinking maybe I really can't work, I'm sure I would get the ssi check if I applied, but I would never get to do thinks I want in life, never be able to fully support myself. It was like being diagnosed again today, and I had to once again accept that I am bipolar. I realized the things I was doing (obsessing about little defects in the parts, asking over and over if parts are good) were probably from the mania, and I didn't even realize I was doing it until someone told me. I started crying today- like the kind of crying panic attack- right before lunch. I hid in the bathroom and took an ativan hoping to calm down before having to face anyone. I obsessed about this so hard that I finally stopped crying (though the panic attacks had stopped) 2.5 hours after our break. I had no choice, I had to let people see me like this. Luckily in the part of the building I work in I only work with a few people. When I calmed down I flt I owed it to them to tell them why I reacted like this. One person said she would be frustrated with them too even though she has no mental problems. The guy I told ( he was being SO nice and helping me with my parts and was leaving me alone when I needed it) said he noticed some symptoms in me before I told him and his girlfriend gets like that too. I told him I had taken the anxiety meds and he was understanding- I was moving a little slower than usual and was a little more out in space and he helped me so much. I also told the lady who is training and is going to be my boss because she was the one who told me how I was acting and I didn't want her to think I was being a baby about a little criticizm, I usually have no problem with it. She said her mom was manic depressive and her aunt, so she can kind of understand. She said she would keep it in mind whn working with me, but now I am home I am worried she thinks I deserve special treatment, that was not my point in telling her. I just wanted her to understand I may cry like that sometimes or start laughing for no reason and not to be alarmed. I asked all these people to keep this to themselves, and told my future boss I really don't even want her boss finding out because I have heard her and heard of her gossiping about stuff to other people that she, as a supervisor, has no right to tell anyone. She actually was telling people this girl is gay and she is not even gay! I guess I just have to wait till next week and see how it goes. I just have to do special things myself to be better at this job, do you think it will be fair for me to ask those I work with to tell me when I get like this so I can control it better before it becomes a problem? I think that now I will be able to control it more but what if later i slip into this again and don't even know? I'm sure they would see it before I would, but it's not their responsibility to tell me. Should I ask them?


Also the questions I stated above were probably worded badly. I really don't want to know why, but are there other people like this? People on here haven't went into too much detail.... do I act differently than everyone else? Sometimes I think it is something other than bipolar, I fit in so well but there are things I feel I am alone in too. Any thoughts about this?

About the rapid cycling- I kind of understand what this is, but is it normal to rapid cycle sometimes and other times have long episodes? And if I am hypomanic and get depressed for a day is it actually cycling or am I just having a bad day inbetween? I'm not talking about today, I was not depressed I just freaked out a little. I'm talking about real depression where I will not get out of bed unless I have to and sleep for 18 hours that day, then the next day be back up again. I know I sometimes say things other than I mean, I will try to work on this so you can understand my questions, but I think I am just typing what I am thinking in my head and not my actual question.

[adel_ezz]

you are right, you made a strong remark

[tweekie]

I think the mostly depressed bipolar may tend to want to seek out others in their depressed state that sympathize with them where as people who are manic find it more difficult to even admit they are sick, especially in a period of feeling high and elated.

[adel_ezz]

>>So why does it seem most people here are depressed more often and I am the opposite?

if you are BP1 then usually mania is the thing which is more clear, whereas in BP2 it's depression. So they say BP1 is more severe to handle, but again as i said depending on the severity of the symptoms. About cycling it's true what corlenbelspar indicated it can happen many times during one day and is called ultra rapid cycler.

i just want to clarify things to you because your curiosity will not be satisfied until you come to realise that bipolarity is not something easy to fully understand. there are many mysterious things inherent in it so that a small stress can trigger you and sometimes not.

they also say that psychotherapy helps a lot and not only the meds

[beautifulbritty712]

thanks, I have read so much about this but it is so different actually talking to other people who experience it and know what it's really like. So why does it seem most people here are depressed more often and I am the opposite? My downs usually last a shorter period of time than my ups do, is anybody else like this? Also, sometimes I will start cycling like crazy, several times a day. Other times my moods last a few days or a couple weeks, I have rarely had them last more than a few weeks. There have been times I remember being up for a while, then getting depressed for only a few hours or a day or two but then I get high again. Do other people do this? It has worked the other way too.... being depressed then being happy for a short time and back to the sad. I guess i could have the time frames messed up, sometimes my concept of time isn't very good. Also, I rarely, almost never, feel any normalcy in between my ups and downs.... my moods can change like turning a light on and off and usually do. When I do feel the normalcy it seems like I eat very little, don't people do this usually when they are manic or depressed, why do I do it if I feel neutral? And what are these triggers- I understand sometime things make me change but why sometimes can something really bad happen and it won't make my mood come down and if something really good happens my mood will stay low? Why is it the stupidest things make me cycle, but not the big things? I want to post questions to all these questions and keep thinking of and forgetting other questions to post, but I would take up the whole website!

[paranoid_cataclysm]

Some people can cycle several times a day.

[adel_ezz]

In the majority of the cases one doesn't have the time to switch from one pole to the other. Usually one consults a pdoc under one pole, the majority is depression and the pdoc doesn't have the time either to study the case thoroughly so he assumes you have major depression and the beginning always is an antidepressant which is the wrong start for a BP so you develop mania and the rest is known. Unless you have mood swings that are not severe like mild bipolarity and you are puzzled yourself so that you diswcover that you follow the DSM specifications, but this is a true lucky situation. The case of hypomania for a start is also rare like in BP2, but usually you are dx something else and bipolarity shows on the surface after medications, like you have GAD or OCD or ADHD etc...

The meaning of the DSM is that you start to fluctuate in mood to either pole and with remission period called euthymia in which you show some stability. the periods of hypomania/depression/euthymia vary from one person to another. Rapid cycling can occur but not so often at the onset of the disease and not in BP2 usually but after taking antidepressants.

It always says that depression for a few days is not enough to qualify for dx depression, you need some 10 days to be sure, but as a patient once you start not wanting to leave the bed you know this is the start. Also pdocs will tell you if you don't give meds, mania extinguishes itself automatically after a while, but everybody is usually alarmed at the start of mania because nobody can tell the repercussions if one leaves the pt unmedicated.

Bipolarity has no standard symptoms, some classify it into 6 types, the majority is BP2. Also which type is severe, depends on the symptoms. So whereas it's known that BP1 is worst, you can have a BP2 bad also where depression is a big problem.

you remind me of myself when i started a year ago to ask people about BP after being dx.
welcome aboard