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447130 tn?1225470866

What effect does negativity have on your Bipolar?

When there is a lot of negativity in your home, does anyone find that it makes their symtoms worse? Do you feel like you just can't live with the Bipolar anymore or do you need to go and live alone. I read in BP Magazine that a lady has decided in her wellness program she's not ready to be in a relationship for various reasons. I'm starting to feel that way too as I see my mood decline.
I'm afraid because I was doing so well until this negaivity because an issue over the past 2 weeks. Having a souse who doesn't understand all the " triggers" of bipolar disorder has not helped my situation at all.
Hass anyone experience a similar situation?
11 Responses
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Avatar universal
I think you should consider fully before you make any important moves. If you have never tried marriage counseling then see if your spouse will do that with you. Have you tried to get him to learn about bipolar? Has the negativeness been going on for a long time?... or has it only been an issue for two weeks? Make sure you are in a stable place before you make huge decisions in your life.
Helpful - 0
3136619 tn?1345387321
It seems like most of the people replying to this are in the same place:  either in a relationship they find stress with or recently out of one and happy about it.

I haven't been in a relationship in 15 years.  My illness has been severe enough to keep me isolated.  My children are grown and I have lived alone for 10 years.

I wish I were well enough to even want a relationship and then be able to form one.

Back to your original question.  Negative emotion definitely affects me.  I find I get very agitated and anxious, especially when it is from someone I expect to be a bit more understanding.  Of course, the problem being they will never really get it.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Im not sure where I'm at at the moment some days I feel like I can live with this and know my own mind then other days I don't know how I'm gonna get through life with this. I have a tendency to feel guilty about everything and feel like its all my fault! I also get paranoid that no one believes I know my own mind I just dunno what to do I'm on meds it's a bit trial and error at the moment I'm due to start CBT soon I'm currently on maternity leave but feel I can't go back I'm 29 and have four children! Someone help or give me words of encouragement!
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Avatar universal

You're right! Being alone isn't so bad. I think it's a big step for us to get to the point where we can honestly say we have had enough! It's not our faults and choose how we live our life. That's very empowering and in a way it has given me strenght after all these years of trying and blaming myself! I'm glad you have your little boy, I too have two children and they are my life! They love me despite everything, the ones that stand by my side and you know what? I've decided that to be a good Mom I have to be happy with myself first and give back to them what they have and they have always been there for me. My kids are teenagers and they want me to be happy in a relationship but now I finally got to a point in my life that I realize I complete myself and am enjoying the power of Choosing when and if I want to open myself up to a relationship ever again! The Lord is good that he blesses us with wonderful children to Love and be loved by. You sound like you got it together, enjoy your son and your free space!
Linda :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
This has certainly hit a chord with me.  I refer to myself as chameleon like because other peoples moods impact on mine in far bigger a way than most other people.  I often feel like running away so that I can live alone but I know that the guilt of leaving my children and husband would be even worse than hanging in here and trying to cope with 5 other peoples personalities and moods.  My husband is very supportive but of course it does sometimes get too much for him putting up with my ever changing moods and that of 4 children.  As for the children they are still too young to really understand, my eldest who is nearly 14 doesn't understand why I can't hold down a job and gets disappointed with me which in turn makes me feel like I'm failing him in trying to teach him the right way to live, because I don't work he doesn't see why he should when he leaves school, my husband works part-time because he needs to be here for me and the children so it is a vicious circle.

I do remain positive though that eventually the right medication will be found and I will be able to return to work and live a "normal" life - by "normal" I mean the life that the rest of society thinks we should live, but now I am getting philosophical.

Helen
Helpful - 0
447130 tn?1225470866
You are doing exactly what I have read you should do. Pick and chose who you want to be with and what and who works with your Bipolar. I am learning the same thing now. Luckily I don't mind being alone, I'm almost happier that way. I have a great little boy who is the love of my life!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I Know it's sad isn't it? But you have to protect yourself because some people can actually feed off the bipolar and it's not healthy for us. As lonely as I get sometimes, I also have peace and the ability to control  who and when I feel like dating.
I think we do this as a protective defense.  I've had men know exactly how to push my buttons knowing fully well I was bipolar! As much as they said they understood, they knew how to manipulate me because of my emotions. Very unhealthy!!!
I'm benched for a long while to give myself a lot of much needed space!.
Helpful - 0
447130 tn?1225470866
This is exactly what I've been reading, even from people who have gotten well, thay will not subject themselves to a relationship until they are certain that person can be understanding. I think I know what I have to do, he is seeing a counselor again today but he saw her before and things only changed for a few months.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I too know exactly what you mean about relationships! That's why I live alone. Tired of people having major flaws and blaming everything on my bipolar. Can't seem to find anyone that doesn't ultimately turn it around and blame me. People ask me why I'm not in a relationship..I've had it!
It's sad to live this way but on the other hand I find it's better for me to date and not get too involved with one person. At least my home enviornment is mine and I have a place to resort to. I doubt you'll find anyone that really understands Bipolar.If you do consider yourself lucky and hang on tho them.
Stress will make emotions worse but unfortunately life is not stress free. That's why in the area of relationships I got to the point where I just stay single. It's one less major stressor in my life.
Helpful - 0
447130 tn?1225470866
I'm glad I'm not the only one with little support. I know what I need to do an perhaps being alone is the answer for now. My well being comes first in my life and if that means I have to loose a relationship because of it, so be it.
Thanks for the support!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yes, you are right!  I find my bp symptoms are magnified by any emotions, good or bad, that I am feeling in my life and my surroundings and the people in my life.  If my surroundings radiate good vibes, then I am in a much better mood.  If my surroundings are full of negativity, misunderstanding, chaos, or whatever -- then those feelings are magnified a hundred-fold by by bp. It's like bp is always there, trying to take over my life.  
A wise person on this forum, I believe it was btsmith, recently wrote that we cannot be defined by bipolar, we cannot let bp become who we are -- or else it wins.  We have to develop an identity separate from bp -- we are more than just our bp.

I, too, have a live-in boyfriend who does not understand my bp at all -- he tries to make light of it, laugh at my symptoms, or simply just walk away from me with a bad attitude, making me feel un-loved and un-worthy.  I guess he just doesn't know how to deal with it except through humor, or simply ignoring me.  That's how most of my friends and family are.

I can't offer you any advice on how to deal with this -- just know that you are not alone.  Come to this forum when you need encouragement and support.  I find talking to others here makes a big, positive difference in my life.
Helpful - 0
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