So...lately I have been very emotional and I have no clue why. I am constantly always worrying about everything all the time. Every single day I go through all different kinds of emotions, but mostly anger and I guess depression. I guess it would be diagnosed as Bipolar Disorder, but I feel like it's something more than that. Like when I get sad, it's not just being mopy and pouty...I get to the point where I cry and I feel like my heart is gonna burst, like how you feel when someone close to you dies and then few seconds later it's over I'm happy again. But sometime later on in the day if I think about it again, I go back to feeling the same. But when I get mad is what I'm more worried about than anything. Usually when I get mad I feel like someone just punched me in the face even though someone is just getting on to me for something I didn't do or even if I did do it. I just want to throw things and hit things to let out all my anger and that's when the problem really starts. Sometimes I just can't hold it in anymore and my anger turns into violence. I'm not proud of it and I don't mean to hurt anyone, especially the people I love. Actually to be honest, I don't ever lay a hand on anyone besides my husband. I guess you can say my husband's got the bad end of the deal. When we argue I just can't help but sometimes hit him and yes when I say hit I mean punch. I try my hardest to control myself, but sometimes, I just can't. When I'm finished letting it all out a few seconds later I feel like nothing has happened and I start crying because I realized what I did was out of line and completely wrong. He always forgives me and I love him for that. But of course I feel like I don't deserve him and he definitely doesn't deserve to be treated like this. I'm not sure where all these emotions came from, I don't know if it's because I just recently had a baby 6 months ago or what, but I'm pretty sure I always felt like this before I even got pregnant, it just wasn't this intense...and I could always hide it. But the only person I'm ever always happy with, no matter what is my son. I'm never mad or sad around him, but I'm scared when he gets older everything will change. What if I'm like this with him? I already hate myself cause I'm like this with the man I love, so if I treated my son like this, I feel like I would just die...I really need help. Can anyone tell me what's wrong with me and is there any medication out there that could help me? Please don't leave rude comments and yes I know I should go see a doctor, but I'm just not ready for that yet. I'm just gonna take it one step at a time. Please help?