Why?

I hate this disease.
What is it anyway.................................since I have been 18 and now I am 39.
I have been off meds successfully for two years and now i AM losing it again.

I am paranoid...................i wonder if I have somthing other than bipolar because I don't have ups just downs

I hate this
is abilify the answer


Guess what I have been on it ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLl.
Mess up by it all drugged up by psychiatrist lost my life
I got it back myself
Now do I have to hand it back this is pathetic

[determined2beatit]

I know what you mean!! I've had it for years also and just when you think you beat it, it surfaces again. I have also brought the meds WAY DOWN in order to not sacrifice what I call living life! The drugs are paralyzing and take away your zest for life. I found that I have to keep a a baseline amount of a combo of drugs in my system at all times and when a bad period hits, we just bump them up to cover any mania's or depressions. It's a pitiful way to live but I  don't know what else there is. But I do have rapid cycling so I have to take the meds!!

[RubyShooz]

Yes, we are bipolar and it *****.  I've been on meds for decades, so long that I think I've fried my brain!  But no, it's the meds and my doc that have kept me alive and given me hope that I CAN manage this disease.  I am determined not to let it get the best of me.  I follow my doc's advice, call him between appointments if I really need to, and just take it a day at a time.  I'm happy for the good times and struggle through the bad times, always hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.  My friends and family do not understand, but that's OK because I know all of you on these message boards know what BP feels like and we all share a lot of the same feelings.  Thanks to each and every one of you for your kind and supportive postings.
Hugs,
Ruby

[Venora Moonwind]

yeah bi polar is a b!@ch. I also am thryoidless diabetic now  so whats a few more meds to take.
bi polar IS managable I have been stable now for 8 yearsmeds therapy diet and exercise have allowed me live a good life with good hubby and good job ( which I might add this is the longest I have worked in one place)
Ruby is right take the good days and live them to the fullest as these will see you through the bad daysEducate yourself all you can about bi polar  eat healthy and exercise at least 30 mins a day Learn to love yourself completley and this will also see you through.
Keep coming here for the love and support  we bi polar s need WE understand what it is like to walk in bi polar shoes and our experiences can help one anotherget through this.
Love Venora

[1vision]

I just hate this disease.  I denied having it even to my Doctor.  I feel like we live with cancer but we can't tell anyone, because if you tell anyone you have it...then they treat you differently and talk about you.  I am a teacher and I don't have any friends because I don't know what to say about what is wrong with me and they know something is wrong with me.  How do you describe the differences or quirks that people see without exposing too much personal info at work, etc.  HOw do you maintain friends, how do you manage?
It is sooo hard.  Sometimes I am so discouraged I just want to give up.
Teresse

[Venora Moonwind]

that is so cool you are a teacher.  when people are truly your friend your quirks and such wont bother them. they love you for who you are NOw its funny but  people I work with know I am bi polar and it doesnt bother them because I think it doesnt bother me anymore. I acceptit , take my meds and go to therapy. I eat healthy and exercise so my meds are kept a low dose.Bi polar is so managable but it does take time especially  if you fight the dx.( I fought it for a while and kept going off my meds.but I learned after my 3rd time in the hospital that I was really bi polar)
Now as for maintaining friends just be one .My daddy taught me that and it has served me well. but first learn to love yourself and to be good to yourself. when that happens it is easy to make and maintain friends.
you hang in ther and never,never ,never give up.This world needs teachers like you.YOu have the chance to influence your students to be good adults.I know to be a teacher you are a caring and loving person with a good heart.Keep coming here and talking with us. We will help you through this difficult time.
Love Venora