Your disease and your family

How does your disease affect your loved ones? Do u get the proper support from them?

[ILADVOCATE]

  That's a complex question as at first people in my family didn't know what was going on so I found that informational literature was of help to them. For some people friends and family members support groups can be as well. NAMI is a good organization in this regard. At the beginning with the level of recovery I was at some family members did need to speak to my psychiatrist at times of concern. As things have improved we have begun to realize that the bipolar spectrum is genetic throughout my family and other family members have begun to seek help as well. Every family is different but information to understand what is happening and appropriate coping strategies for when there are concerns is generally worthwhile for all families.

[freddie8605]

Some of my family don't have any information on bipolar and everything that goes with that, some of my family don't want to know and are not understanding but then i am lucky that i have some family ( my close family) who have assess to information and support for themselves and for me but they don't go very often but rather get information from the internet. My Dad has bipolar as well so there was information from him. My family can ask my doctor, my therapist and community worker and there is a support group in town called supporting families which is really good.

I think it is good for the family to have support too.

[BipolarBear75]

Unfortunately I do not have the support of my family. As a kid, I grew up with parents being in denial. I had "problems" as a kid but they overlooked the moods and shifts and the 3 month catatonic state after my grandfather died. My dad also has bipolar but not treated by a doctor. He has been a drug addict all my life. He will take ANYTHING! That was SO hard. I got diagnosed three years ago and during the first appointment, my pdoc asked a lot of questions and determined I had bipolar disorder even as a child.

I have told my parents but they say it isn't true and they haven't talked about it since. But when my mom can't handle my dad anymore she calls me. Since then, my son was also diagnosed with ADHD and ODD and learning disabilities......my mom told him he was just lazy and my uncle told him it was bull@#$ and not to take any meds for it. I lost it on both of them! My pdoc will be seeing my son and thinks it isn't ADHD and the other comorbid conditions but rather bipolar disorder.

I am actually a single mother as well that works full time and college part time to better our lives but with NO support from my family at all. Only my parents know about the diagnosis. After their reaction, I decided not to tell the rest of the family. I do it on my own..family wise but have surrounded myself with very understanding friends. We can pick our friends.

[freddie8605]

I am sorry your family is not supportive and understanding. At first when i first got unwell my mum had trouble getting it, she didn't think it was there because in her eyes she couldn't see it, but after later on after it got majorly worse and she learned all about it, she was my number one supporter, my dad was in denial in the start i think because he didn't want to believe he pasted bipolar down to me. both of my parents now are very supporting well i mean the best they can. My mum's brother's son has dyslexia ( so do i but mum's always been supportive with that) and his my uncle thinks that dyslexia is just you being lazy and he will yell at my cousin when he can read or spell right. i think that must be horrible for him, how can people be so ignorant and non-supportive when they are your own flesh and blood?!

My boyfriend is trying be there for me and be supportive but at times he doesn't know what to do. and he doesn't want to go to a support group for families. but his parents don't like me because he told them i have bipolar and that is hard sometimes.

You must be so strong as a person, and i think you are amazing being a single mother and work full time and college part time with no family support and having bipolar at the same time!
I am glad you have great friends to, i think your story is very inspirational.

:)

[BipolarBear75]

Wow, thanks for that vote of confidence. The way I am cycling, I certainly do not feel inspirational but thank you.

It is funny how you say I must be strong because my mother's verbal reaction to my diagnosis won't get out of my head. She told me "I thought you were stronger than that." I can never forget that. My friends agree with you however I just find myself struggling through each day. There is the fight to "act normal" all day at work, then the fight to actually do the things you should do that is considered daily living.....I am sure I don't have to tell you or anyone else out here all this......but then there is days when I feel that my mom's words are totally wrong and that I am doing well and the doctor is commenting on how "high functioning" I am.....I am always exhausted as well.

Thank you again.....I think when I feel bad I will reread your post to me and hope it makes me feel as good as the first time I read it.

I am so sorry that your bf's parents are closing their minds off to you. It is so hard. In a fight my exhusband will yell at me to take my meds and stay on them in public....his parents were understanding but blame my condition for our divorce rather than the problems we were having. It seems if we have this condition; people blame everyday things on it.

Hope to chat again soon! :)

[freddie8605]

I am so glad that my message made you feel good, it made me feel good for you to feel that way. :)

And yes i really agree as soon as people learn you have bipolar and sometimes worse for me when i have been "psychotic" it feels like no one else understands and if i do something or think something it is always "are you taking your meds?" or "you need to get help" and worse still " you are wrong" because if you have these problems then there is no way you could be right! - Man i hate that, especially in public!

People need to realize that i will be the first person to stand up if i have done something wrong and admit it and take responsibility for it, but when people blame all my mistakes and others mistakes on my disorder i get mad.

If you are in a relationship there is 2 of you and it is not just one persons fault, as you know. My bf's parents where telling him not to go out with me as i will just end up hurting him, and this was just after he told them and before they had met me, even after they met me they still think the same.

Weirdly though my mum thinks i am smarter, more intelligent and kind of should be looked up at because i have bipolar, she is almost proud and will tell everyone she meet, so no chance of being normal when that happens.

If us bipolar people stick together we can do amazing things.

I do think you are inspirational as i really want children but everyone is telling me i can't because i will have to go off my meds etc
But you are not only a single parent you are working and studying.
I want to be like that.
My advice is every bad you have know that you doing well even if you are exhausted.

:)