I have a lot of problems, first I have this thing where I avoid everything, like phone calls, I always feel like they are intrusive and the person is going to want me to do something stressful like drive two hours to visit them. I am in poverty and I work all day trying to make money, I sell antiques on the internet, I like what I do and that's all I want to focus on. Second problem is I don't like to interacting with people or speaking, I get very awkward and they always give me this weird look. All these problems cause me to get very agitated.
I have all of those symptoms, but I don't know if it's depression or mixed either. Sometimes I can't stand being around people, in the groceries store, at work. I don't even want to make eye contact. I have felt it getting better since I started taking Ambilify. I tired a lot of meds, and I'm still new on this one, but I notice my social phobias getting better.
I'm sorry to hear your feeling this way, I know how hard it is. I find exercise helpful, even though it's very difficult to do anything when I feel that way. Hang in there, it will get better.
Your discription does not sound like Bipolar to me. Bipolar is very extreme mood changes from total elation to deep, deep depression over a matter of days or weeks. I am bipolar but I also have similar feeling that you have described. I isolate when I am depressed. I don't answer phone calls, I don't want to talk to anyone, see anyone or even leave the house. This could be depression or a mood disorder or personality disorder but it doesn't sound like bipolar to me or at least the way I have experienced mania/depression or mixed states. Perhaps others on this site can advise you better than I. I can only speak from my personal experience and there can be and are many variables.
I can certainly understand agitation. I have sudden burst of anger and it come on so quick I don't have much control over it. Normally my anger is on the down side of a mania. I've also had mixed states; racing depressive thoughts about suicide...
When I was younger I had more of the social phobia. I had always been the "fat kid" and kids at school can be so cruel. I also had some abuse issues as a child. My self esteem was horrible until I was in my late 30's or early 40's. I don't know what happened to me to get over the lack of self esteem but I did. I just realized that I was just a good and smart and had just as much to say as anyone else. I guess I finally discovered I wasn't a dummy that people would make fun of. Now I can talk to anyone about anything and if they don't want to listen, well, I figue it's there problem and not mine and I just move on down the line till I find someone else I want to talk with. I hope you will realize you are just as smart as everyone else and you do have something to say.
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