Thank you so much I will today was a great day no episodes & it look like I will be falling asleep early 2nite im tired I haven't been tired this early in a long time im gonna take advantage of it:)
You are making perfect sense. I would also print out this last part which you said that you can't believe you posted what you wrote. I think you were being your own best friend writing it down. It was pretty clear how overwhelmed you were by saying how and what you were going through at the moment, and everything you did to try to overcome it..and what gave you relief.
Thank u so much I will do that I was just reading it and tgis may sound crazy but I dont remember babbling on like this I cant believe I feel like this its like im reading someone eles bio but after posting this I felt a sence of relief am I making any sense....
Well, talking typing can help you feel less anxious. Later, you should try reading what you wrote or at least, print out what you just wrote above to show it to the doctor and the doctor she wants you to see, because I think it would be helpful for them to know what it is you actually go through when you have these attacks and how you think during them. This would be helpful for them and, in turn, helpful to you.
My left leg feels like it want to go out I can feel myself getting nervous I guess I dont know why im laughing im responding to yall im drinking coconut juice right from the coconut then I start looking around wanting to tell my partner help me like always to you know rub my back tell me to breath and that everything go be ok because when she do that I calm down really fast...but tonight right now right this min I feel like talking typing is helping me as I take deep breaths in and out slowly trying yo calm myself down stopped for a few to turn the air & fan on high because everyone feeling in me saying I need air I dont know why im not sweating I just feel having it very cold or putting water on me helps me to snap out it. I couldnt fall to sleep last night until 11am this morning thats right I was up all night and didnt know why. So as I lay I jump up a few times and my partner runs in and I lay back down and I finally woke up at 9pm tonight but I still feel so tired like I only been to sleep for 1hr. So im laying in bed now and hope I fall asleep so that hisday can be over with fast but I know my nervers will keep me up. I tried to exercise cause sometimes that helps but ifeel so shakery inside im gonna call my dr tomorrow because she ask me to start back seeing this dr I used to ser weekly and I told her no but I think I want to now but in my sessions im scared to be honest cause I keep picturing someone coming thru yhe door and locking me up in a crazy place then I lose my son because I make a statement saying I need a break or something from it all. Im saying I need to get away 3-6 days no partner or son just mommy time from all the daily challenges from being a mommy, wife, role model for society, family & friends I love it all but I need a break 2 find me again & all the dr will hear is I wanna kill myself....thats why I dont be honest at sessions and thats why I stop going and thats why im affraid of being dependent on medications. I love my son with all my heart & even now im breaking down crying as I type this because I love my son why do I want a break it took me 4ever to conceive I want him with me everyday of my life I feel so guilty just the thought of wanting a weekend getaway. Omg why am im crying im stong this is not me im sorry for carrying on like this im sorry it just feel good talking because I dont have to be the Boss right now I dont have to be ms perfect right now I dont have to host events right now I can ven and not be judged......
So Im not having a good night
Thank u for your advise as well I will focus more
Thank u so much I will get the book & read it & also look at the movie and my son is so strong it makes me a happy mom
Hi Blossom,
I can't think of any better advice than what Pamela has already said. I just wanted to add my experience as well.
I had a panic attack "once" and that was enough to last a lifetime. I'll never forget it! I'm sorry you're dealing with these episodes but I think you're strong for getting help. You are in the process of figuring this out and that's exactly what you need to be doing.
And do not let anybody make you feel crazy. You may not know what is causing this... but something is. Something physical or mental is causing this and you're likely scared for yourself and your sons well being.
When I go through periods of major depression (I once stayed in bed for 6 weeks), I've always told my kids that I'm not feeling well and I need their help. Meaning I need them to be understanding, try to help out around the house, and not be worried if I sleep too much. They have always surprised me w their maturity, even when they were really little. I don't know if that's the right or wrong thing to do, I'm just saying what has worked for my little family.
The only thing that has helped manage my anxiety is medication. I say try what your doc prescribed, but if you're just too worried call the office and ask for a different med. you can ask the nurse to have your doc call u so u can have a conversation w him/her.
Take it one day at a time. Focus when you feel your losing it. Keep loving your son. And try not to beat yourself up.
(((Hugs))),
M
Ok Blossem. Great start. And congratulations on raising such an intuitive loving child. Even your weight loss can be triggering this. However, you'll benefit from the healthy eating plan you are undertaking. Smart!
In the movie Something's Got to Give , with Diane Keaton & Jack Nickalous
He's having an anxiety attack. The Dr says he must learn to decompress.
Watch the movie. You'll like it! Plus you'll get a better understanding of what might be happening to you & how to prevent it.
Also. there's a good book called The Power of Now. By Ekart Tolle. You can also get it on cd. It helps to put ones thoughts into perspective.
You are in control! Pamela
Thanks I know your right I have lost 11lbs in 9 days cutting back on fried foods and went from white bread, rice & pasta to whole wheat & eating lots of salad something I never did. & I am worried about a lot of stuff but I didn't think I was over worring I know I need to start on the meds its just with a baby I dont wanna have one of those side affects & click out in front him he already experienced my 911 episode & im still explaining that to him. He 4 and I dropped my glass & he ran out room to check on me and said mommy u ok sit down and focus im go read u a book so u can rest I was like huh I should be telling him that so I know something going on with me. I find myself worrying about everyone & there problems but I never talk about mines
Dear Blossem, lets say it's your hormones. Then you need to find out more about the pocs you mentioned.
Lets say it's anxiety. An attack can be prevented if you feel it coming on, like you said about shopping. You'll need some skills. Learn how to talk yourself down. Herbs, teas & supplements can help.
The Dr gave you medicine. Please don't fear side effects. Take as directed with an open mind. Even some side effects are temporary and must be worked through. If the medicine can help you, that will be great right?
Now, get inside your head. Do you have too many worries? Fear of the future? See if an internal dialog is causing the panic attacks.
Eat healthy. Pamela