best ways to support my gf with bipolar and not get emotionally used up

[therealfokker]

A little background. I love, support, and do my best to understand my gf's condition. But i have to take stock of my needs
and seek a balance to our relationship. This is more difficult as she lost her job and is trying to enter a new career field.
In addition, she has asked for financial support. My fear is that she is in denial as to what she is capable of accomplishing. We are both nurses, but she has lost her licence, and can not practise as a nurse ever again. I want to keep encouraging her, supporting her but i think she is delusional and/or hypomanic as to her career choice. She wants to become a pharmacy rep. She was self medicating with narcotics  b4 and i think that this choice has more to do with availability to more drugs than anything else. She avoids confronting her issues and has threatened suicide if i don't play
"hero" and "save" her! She says  i am delusional for loving her. This may be so! I have questioned my continued involvement  as she holds the central position in our relationship and does not want to share power! Any thoughts?

[therealfokker]

Thanks for ur suggestions! Whenever i find myself reaching out i know that i am getting in touch with denial. Whether about myself or the relationship. Fighting with myself is frustrating but i want to change my life for the better. My emotions are mixed up, do i abandon the woman i love for the sake of my own needs or keep trying to make this work, or seek some middle ground. I wonder if she ever thinks about this. Does she really want me in her life or just need me
to fall back upon. That is the question i have to answer for myself.

[Teddygirl]

being a nurse can be very stressful and demanding, i think it is very important to try to obtain a balanced life style and set aside time to do something relaxing. bottom line is, physical activity like a jog, walk, swim or gym time helps constructively release stress, there are herbal remedies said to balance moods if taken for prolonged periods of time like st johns wart / vitex. however, it takes time for herbs to work. If need be maybe therapy would be a good thing too. Your girlfriends wellness is very important, but yours is too, it can be hard trying to be the glue to hold everything together, you make yourself ill and miserable doing it. I suppose the best idea would be to let her know what bothers you and take steps together as a couple and team to work together to better handle and cope with the emotional turbulence as it arises. She has to acknowledge her problem before she can try to get help, therapy, meds, proper diet, plenty of rest, physical exercise, vitamins, some possible herbal supplements, and an open connection to freely express and conversate to convey ones feelings can lead to a balanced life style. As a nurse i'm sure you know all of this, just do well to look after yourself and your needs as well, I do wish your girlfriend peace, The best thing for her is to create a journal of her daily activities, diet and moods dates and times, and to keep her doctor in the loop and to continue treatment. I hope the two of you can make it through the emotional turbulence. hang in there.

[therealfokker]

thank you. I don't get to interact much with others outside my field of work....pediatric home health, 12 hour night shifts. I needed to talk with someone. I was feeling isolated..

[danalynnlobo]

I would say first and foremost, make sure she is taking care of HERSELF.  I've learned after many many years of dealing with a number of family members and friends with bipolar disorder that you can't do for them what they must do for themselves.  That is what is going to eat you alive and leave you resenting her when it's not her fault.  Not her fault, but not yours either.  Our feelings are what they are.  Make sure she is taking her meds, seeing her Dr. and participating in talk therapy.  Making sure she is doing these things is what you can do to help her, help herself.  Beyond that, you need to be sure you are doing what you feel comfortable with and not over extending yourself and your emotional capacity.  
In other words, care for yourself too.  It's hard, but worth the effort.
Hope it all works out for you and your gf!!!