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bi-polar, first episodes???
I've been wondering lately if I suffer from depression, as it is believed, or if it could be developing into bi-polar disorder. I've read that  bi-polar disorder can worsen with time, and I was wondering if any one can remember what their first signs of being in a maniac state was like.
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For me the first and foremost symptom of mania is not being able to sleep and not feeling tired or in need of it. After about a day of sleeplessness begins racing thoughts and a general feeling of wellbeing and euphoria, though this can turn to anger or paranoia depending on your mood. After awhile the thoughts become more racing and less rational and logical. I start to draw conclusions about things that make no sense, though in the manic state they make perfect sense and often seem profound and indisputably right. You might draw bouncing some of your ideas off of someone else and seeing if they think they make sense or not. At this point I would highly advise seeking professional help so as not to allow the mania to progress further. After many days without sleep thoughts turn to intense paranoia or conspiracy theories and the feeling of revelation and delusions of grandeur. I won't go further but needless to say that what comes next ultimately turns to something very unpleasant.
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