bipolar

[footballmom13]

my husband has been dianosed with bipolaar, he days his meds no not work for him and he refuses to take them.........how do i get him to realize how bad his aggressive behavoir is hurting his family.........how do i get him to realize that we do care for him and we want him better......he could care less whose feelings he hurts

[Meriann64]

When you are bipolar you are in a different reality.  Once he is on his meds consistently, it may take a long time, but he will see things as they are.  He is not doing it to hurt you- he can't help it.  I'm not sure any convincing will really help.  You may have to leave him temporarily especially if you or the kids "family" are in any danger.  Remember that you can get him admitted if he is a danger to you, your kids, anyone else or himself.  Call the police.  Other than that you cannot force someone to take their meds and it's hard to reason with someone deep in the throws of bipolar.
One thing that stuck with me when I was "deep in the throws" was to be told that if I went on again off again with any medication it would cease to work and there are not that many medication options in the first place.
Most bipolars don't like the meds cause they cause a dullness and lack of energy/personality at least at first.
Take care of yourself and the kids/family foremost.

[shawn47]

Your husband is being a selfish jerk.  Take care of YOURSELF and your Mom first and foremost.  Hopefully, your husband will suck it up, take his pills, and feel better.  Maybe he'll even understand that he's just as human as everyone else.  shawn

[DLA]

I really feel for you.  My thought would be that your mom cannot change what she is going through and has no choice.  Your husband DOES!  If he wants to be a stubborn fool and go through life miserable b/c he refuses to take his meds then I would let him do it alone.  Know a couple of men this way and there is not a chance I would stay with them and put up with them if I had ANY kind of choice!!  If I quit taking my meds it would be my husband's own fault for putting up with me and not leaving when he doesn't need me to survive.

As I said, that is ONLY my opinion.  But I know how I was before meds.  Once you know there is help out there and you can afford it, you no longer have any excuses in my opinion.

Take care of your mom.  My grandmothers both had Alzheimer's, so I understand this.  She needs you right now desperately.  HE doesn't!

Good luck and God be with you!
Dac

[footballmom13]

HE IS ALSO SUPPOSED TO TAKE DEPAKOTE TO HELP WITH THE ANGER THAT HE HAS
GETTING HIM TO TAKE IT IS LIKING PULLING TEETH WITHOUT ANY KIND OF NUMBING MEDS
HE HAS READ THESE MESSAGES AND HE STILL SAYS THAT EVERYONE IS FULL OF SHI$$

NOW YOU SEE WHAT I AM UP AGAINST
I AM AT WITS END
NOT ONLY DO I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS, BUT NOW MY MOTHER HAS BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH VASCULAR DEMENTIA, HOW DO I DEAL WITH HIM WITH HIS BIPOLAR AND DEAL WITH MY MOTHER AT THE SAME TIME
I REFUSE TO GIVE UP ON MOM, BUT I DO NOT WANT TO LOSE MY HUSBAND TOO
WHAT DO I DO NOW/

[DLA]

Seems that men also have the bigger stigma of it being a "psycho" thing instead of a medical condition.  But it's not.  It's a chemical imbalance just like diabetes or any other.  Hang in there and be tough like Venora said and I'll be praying for you too.

Dac

[Venora Moonwind]

Unforunatly this is typocal when dx as bi polar.  your husband needs to come to terms with it. I think it is much harder for men to admit there is a problem.if he is being agressive or abusive you need to make it clear that this is unaccepttable and that he needs to take his meds. it takes tough love to be with someone bipolar. you will have to lay down the law to him.I will keep you in my prayers.
Love Venora