can anyone help me.. im bipolar with permiscous thought..?

i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder for about 2 years now. i got married 1 year and ahalf ago. i had a baby boy just before i was diagnaoeed.
i have been having these thoughts about having sex with guys i have past realtions with and cheating on my husband. i know its bad, but i dont know what to do about these thoughts. my husband dont really take in any parts to understand bipolar or doesnt have a clue whats going on when i have mania mode. sometimes i dont even know im going thru mania, it just happens. i love my husband, but sometimes he gets mad because he doesn't understand and i think he will never. also, he thinks im normal most of the time. sometimes i pretend and thinks he's the one that is cheating..werid.. sometimes i want to leave him but i dont want to break up my family and the relationship i have with them.. what do i do? this has been going on for about a year and i havent told my husband cus im afraid he will leave me..

[ILADVOCATE]

The relationship aspect is one issue but I would think its best to have an honest conversation about it when you are ready. As for what you described increased libido and loss of judgment can be part of the manic aspect of bipolar. It would be best to speak to your psychiatrist about that so there could be better control over moodswings in general. As for what can't be controlled after medication is adjusted, in addition to medication talk therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy work as well. As for any issue between you and your husband relationship counseling might be a good idea. There are many ways to approach these issues.

[RJ233]

What you are going through affects a lot of bp people. Even when your spouse puts a real effort into understanding, they can only understand so much. Living it and being on the outside looking in is not the same. When you get those thoughts and you know in your heart you love your husband and really want no part of destroying your relationship and family, then you know that is not what you really want. That helps to guide you in the right direction for help with the problem. If you are not seeing a counselor, then you need to. If you are, then be honest with him and tell him and your psychaitrist. Between med adjustment and talking to a professional, it will help you. They can also give you advice on how to approach helping your husband to understand a lot of the affects that you are struggling with. The sooner you work towards those positive steps, the sooner you will feel better about it. For me, keeping a strong dr relationship has helped me to deal better with things. I could not understand my own actions for a long time, because it just was not me. I would think what has happened to me? After I was diagnosed bp, and started finding symptoms, etc. I could understand the why of my actions over-riding my own personality. I made some bad decisions before I was diagnosed and on medication, but they were out of character, that is how I connected that with the illness.
Hope things work out well for you.