can you hide it well.....

   Some days just aren't all that great for me,...like I'm having anxiety feeling sad cynical and or critical of myself . And then it just starts happening I zone out and feel down or uncomfortable whatever get caught up and someone just says Whats wrong Alex?? you look upset. I don't want others to know how I'm feeling but its like the look it just written all over my face sometimes I don't even realise I'm doing it. Its something I've been working on is there anything I can do to help this????

[ILADVOCATE]

Yes I have been through that as regards mood stability before my current recovery but because I was psychotic that was easily visible. However as regards mood changes people could see things were different but reacted wrong. I would often be told by someone approaching me in a store "Don't worry. Be happy". when I was depressed. Of course I couldn't. And when I was manic once an elderly woman who needed help with taking the trash out said "You look like a friendly person. Perhaps you could help." (Of course I would have anyway). Those are just the amusing stories. Some responses were far more disturbing. Aspects of what you have you can't change but with talk therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy you can learn more about how to deal with people and coping issues and the like. As for what's going on with people you trust its best to disclose your disability but just not provide details which is what I did but everyone has their own approach and decisions of how they do things of course.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

Well things like my anxiety attacks as bad as though can be I can remain calm through for the most part except I have trouble breathing normally and such and probably other things are visible I don't know about.  As for my psychotic stuff, I usually never talk about myself personally to people so they never really find out about delusions I may have.  I'm pretty sure the fact I looked like I was on drugs was caused by psychosis because after I started taking antipsychotics I didn't look like that while on them.  It was irony at its finest when people asked me where they could get some drugs but then when I was actually on (legal) drugs no one asked me.  Life is so backwards all the time in how it works.  I probably have hallucinations that trick me and I don't realize it at all so I'm sure those probably make it apparent.  My behavior can be erratic but that isn't apparent.

[wj74]

I also had someone ask me what kind of drugs I was on, so no I guess I don't hide it well when my meds aren't adjusted right.

[Xila31]

For the most part I hide it pretty good at least I used to, but it is getting harder. Because I have hypomania instead of mania I think it is easier on that end. On the depression end it depends on how sever it is. But most of my life people just ignored me anyway. No one noticed or cared if I was sad. Since I'm not having a lot of paranoia and stuff like that right now, I think it is easy to hide. But I know even as a kid when I was spouting off my conspiracy theories all the time people just ignored it or played along. I just got used to not sharing my feelings so I don't know if it is really hiding it but just not talking about it.

[zzzmykids]

Because I am open about the depression, not the bipolar except to a close circle of people....I don't get asked. Do I wear my emotions on my sleeves? Yes in the comfort zone of those who love me no matter how or who I am. The rest know me as a good neighbor, person they can come to if they are depressed, a woman with a successful marriage and family. And sometimes a crafter! :)
zzzmykid
Oh, there are a few in the family, I wish never knew I have something that they think gives them the right to crucify or belittle me about.

[rogelio63]

I've only been diagnosed a short time but I've noticed at work people will ask me all the time,,Are you all right?  I think it's because generally when I'm at work I'm the life of the party, but when I'm the least little bit off,  I get the questions.  I'm no help whatsoever Alex,,I just have noticed it too.  I can't avoid the situations, I can still do my work well, so no one can get after me for that!  But I just can't hide it as well as I used too,,,

[paranoid_cataclysm]

I will also be open about my mental illness if asked about it at least.  I sometimes like telling people anyway because of how there is a misconception everyone with certain mental illnesses are always violent and mean which I'm the exact opposite and can't even bring myself to hit someone on purpose.  I keep my close friends updated about my adventures in mental health as well.

[Xila31]

You know that's true about everyone thinking people with mental illness is violent, especially bipolar and schizophrenia. I think that's because a lot of times people who do things that are intensely terrible do have something wrong. But like they taught us at school. corrolation doesn't equal cause. So, just because a person with bipolar disorder was abusive doesn't mean all people with bipolar will be abusive. Like that guy who kidnapped that girl for 18 years. He definately has something wrong and psychosis, but that doesn't mean that all people with psychosis are going to kidnap and enslave little girls. You know?

But because of that, it makes it hard for us to share with others that we have our illness.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

Well I don't think it's everyone thinks we are all violent, there are people out there who are understanding to our plight.  I think the media is partly to blame for their fear mongering BS where they blow everything out of proportion and only give coverage about the people with mental illness; it would be better if they just never even mentioned that they had mental illness.  There are people who are considered good and bad in every group of people really as you probably know but I'm typing for the sake of other people who might of not realized that.

I also could of swore the girl was his own daughter that guy abducted for 18 years and locked in his basement dungeon.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

Err I meant only give coverage to people with mental illness who are also violent, I could of swore I wrote that but I didn't.

[Xila31]

No, the girl was not his daughter. He did end up having 2 daughters by her, though. He would tell people she was his daughter and the little girls that she was their big sister. But the truth is, she was their mom and was abducted when she was only about 14 or so. She's only a year younger than me, it is a very odd situation.

I know what you mean about the media. I agree. No one ever says, "A hero pulled a person from a sinking car and saved their life, and the hero was schizophrenic." You know, because no one ever thinks that way. Nope. But they'll go on for hours about how crazy someone is when something bad happens. Or all those scary movies. Look at Halloween. Wasn't he escaped from a mental hospital. :(

[braccio]

I've been able to hide my depression very well, especially at work.  I'm sure no one notices at all, except I probably have glassy eyes.  I do the best that I can, but I'm very impatient with all the medicine that I've been taking.  I guess you could say that my doctor is who is really making me impatient.

[ApRiLGeTsAngry77]

1 in 4 people suffer  from a mental illness. ( NAMI 2009) So it is sad that many people still have a stigma about bipolar that all we do is go off on people all the time. That we are violent and out of control. The best thing we can do is educate them.

Sometimes when I am depressed, people will ask me what is wrong and sometimes I tell them I have a migraine or that I am just not feeling well. I am not very open with my illness because of the stigma. I have also had people ask me if I was on drugs when I was hypomanic. Sometimes those kinds of things hurt my feelings but I just learn to shrug it off.