could BP be a kind of viremia

[adel_ezz]

I know this sounds crazy but i am mentioning this link

http://tribes.tribe.net/depressionhelp/thread/548256d9-5028-459a-bf7a-5946502edb2a

in which they suspect BP has a virus origin from horses... one of the reasons i remember when i was 12 i used to ride horses and got attached to a beautiful black horse at the club. One day they shooted it telling us it started to hit its head against the wall.

after a few months i returned from school brought by the servants there and looked almost dead. As i recovered and consulted a pediatrician he said do you have any pets at home, dogs, cats we said no, until we remembered the horse story.

today like it occurred regularly starting 2 years ago i rage and hit my head against the wall, i don't think bipolars do that, and i feel a fire into my head, so could it be a virus, especially that 2 months ago i had swine flu and took tamiflu, during this week of taking the drug i was very calm and tranquil so could it be because it's an antivirus.

perhaps my conclusions are mad, but do the bipolars in this forum hit their head against the wall when manic. My mother told me today that when i returned from school 16 years ago i was telling her for a period of time i have a feeling of the sun in my head.

In egypt people don't raise pets, because they are poor so how come they can feed them if already they can't feed themselves properly, so the no of BP is small but in the west almost everybody has a pet at home.

I am just trying to deduce any correlation even if it is crazy, i know it sounds very crazy but why excluding it if scientists claim it could be

[starbunny]

I was brought up with horses through my childhood to about 16, I also have many relatives with BP/SZ who do not have horse connection so for me perhaps genetic?

[Xila31]

I have never thought you crazy. I always think you are very intelligant, well read, and a good person. I like you are here because you are in Egypt and give us a different prespective on things.

Well, as for me, I bang my head. I don't do it as often as I did when I was a teen. Also, when I get into danger zone I attack myself. I hit myself in the head with my hands and fists, I try to claw through my face, I pinch myself and attack my stomach area. I have hit myself repeatedly in the head with heavy, hard-covered books. I have terrible frightening thoughts about doing horrible damage to myself, and these thoughts make me cry. This is always the point where I am in the greatest danger. Always, always.

Growing up we had a field where were grow our own vegetables, it was once a farm, but no animals remained. To keep mice away we had cats. Lots of cats. All of them lived outside. It was my mom's side of the family that had cats. But on my dad's side is the only relative I have with a link to my BP, my cousin who has schizophrenia. They had a dog, but I don't know if they had it for his whole life or not. He is about 30 years older than me.

For me, I always blamed myself that I am this way. I was not strong enough of a person to form correctly as an infant in the womb, therefore, I am damaged and I do not work correctly. That's what I always believed. I've always believed it was my own fault and not the fault bor forming with the broken genetics instead of choosing the healthy genetics.

[zzzmykids]

I have not thought of you as crazy. Each of us affected, infected or whatever by BP wonder, why. Genetics, former prescriptions, the sixties and seventies pleasure drugs, what could have caused US to have this particular disorder?
When first diagnosed nearly ten years ago and at a very late stage in BP, I was early forties. I did what any BP would do, I read everything I could in the library, dr's pamphlets, online, chat areas before this one and came to the conclusion, for me, it didn't matter what I found or who or what I could blame. I had IT. The IT was not going away. So now what? I have been terrible on food choices. Better of late of regular sleep patterens. Find peace in God's Word. Go to my doctorS and take my meds regularly. This is my life as it is any of ours that have this disorder. Have you asked your Psych what might be causing the head banging. I know that I mainly when manic get very angry and mouthy rather than euphoric and spendy. But I don't bang my head.
I do physically rock when nervous, out of my element or feeling sincerely passionate about a subject or conversation.
I hope you find what you are questing after and that the head banging can be altered and not be affecting you. I am sorry.
A sister in BP,
zzzmykids