does anyone else have this problem?

[worrysomemore]

does anyone else have a problem getting their spouse to be supportive of thir bipolar? i just started a new med and my pertner couldnt even leave me alone for 5 minutes while i talked myself down from a panic attack. he is being very whiny and i want to staple his lips shut!

[Jen813]

Okay I really need to re read my posts before I send them...and here I am talking about being a writer.  I meant (the second sentence) that he has NOT been supportive.  Not in the least!!!

[Jen813]

I wish I could give you some advice, but unfortunetly I am in a similar boat.  I was diagnosed about 6 months ago and ever since then my husband has been nothing but supportive.  He's going into a masters program for counseling so he insists that he knows everything there is to know about the disorder.  All he knows is what he's read from a text book and he would know a whole lot more if he would listen to me or occasionally ask me how I feel instead of telling me how I should feel.  He's incredibly controlling as it is, but ever since the diagnosis he's done nothing but blame all of our martital problems (past and present), his problems and practically all of the problems in the world on the fact that I'm bipolar. This is especially hurtful because I am not the kind of person to draw pity on myself because of something like this. I do not ever use this condition as an excuse nor would I ever even think to.  In fact, it's given my ability to write the poetry that I do and to be able to see the things around me so much more intensely than others.  I think of it almost like a serendipity of sorts.  I would never have expected it, but it has honestly given me a lot.   It's obnoxious and to the point I want to leave (except again that he's extremly controlling, I have no money and therefore risk losing my kids by having no means to support them).  All I can say is that you have to do what's right for you.  You have to learn what works for you, what doesn't, how to handle yourself and what you want from your husband as far as you diagnosis is concerned.  You have to care about yourself, and I know that is an increidbly hard thing to do.  I am sure you have tried, but the only thing you can do is try to talk to him.  If he is willing to listen that might help.  If not, maybe the two of you can see a counselor together (or if you are already seeing one maybe he can come along on a visit or two).  He might see the other side of things from someone who isn't in both of your situations.  I wish I could help more and I do hope that things get better for you.  Please keep us posted on how things are going.  Take care and the best of luck!!

[FreeSpirit4Life]

Ok sooo there r 2 views to this and quite a few factors that alter these viewssooo first thing's first I am also bipolar I started out taking depression med's it sent me in to amanic episode then I went straight to denial because I didn;t want another label I am allready tagged up like a clearence item with people just poking and proding and WE ARE THE MOST DIFFICULT PEOPLE 2 PLEASE WE CAN NEVER MQAKE R MINDS UP DEPENDING ON R MOOD WHICH ALSO ALTERS WHAT PLEASES US SOMETIMES WE LOVE 2 BE HELD AND LOVED OTHER TIMES JUST LEAVE US ALONE I OVER ANALIZE EVERYTHING Soooo here we go if u ever feel likle thisjust answer a few ? and I will help u from my personal experiences now remeber I am basing this off of my life but all of us r different and want different thing's

1) How long have u known or been living with this?

2)How long have the 2 of u been together?

3)Do u truely and whole heartedly believe he is the only one for u?

4) Is he being spiteful or does he have a difficult time showing his feeling's or do u communication is everything and when there r communication issues it's very hard?

5)Sooo we will start there and if u have any question's or feel more comfortable messaging it's up to u I have been through a lot with my hubby and alot of it had to do with my disorder and his attitude we fell apart seperated a million times and now we r together an have decided there is no giving up there is no other that understand's us the way we do eachother fighting or not fighting but the make up is GRRRREAT!!!! LOL read my profile if u want a good understanding of me I am not shy at all I have nothing to hide judgements just don't hurt me anymore well that'sa lie but they don't run my life I do and I am proud of the woman I am I hope I can help

[worrysomemore]

sorry it took so long for me to send you a note. I appreciate all your kindess and support but this relationship is falling apart. we now just exist around one another and its getting old. i keep geting my doseage of meds tweaked by the doc and i cant seem to get adjusted because evrytime i do... its time to raise the dose. its been crazy. but i did tell him that if he cant handle being supportive while i get better, then hit the road so now he is just quiet most of the time. or gone which is fine byme for now....

[Nikki2226]

My husband doesn't understand me at all either.  He had a friend commit suicide while taking an antidepressant and now he thinks all medication for mental illness is evil.  I think it hurts him to see me suffer so he pretends it isn't a real problem and its something I can control on my own. I started blaming him for everything.  I don't have bipolor, I don't think, but depression.  My family tells me not to worry about what he thinks and focus on getting myself well.  As I'm sure you know that is waaayyy easier said than done.  My plan is to find a psychologist and find out what is going on with me, and then make my husband an appointment and have the doctor explain things to him.  I hope this helps. Have you tried this with your spouse?

[sammijo]

I did too...Been divorced for a few years now. He use to flush my meds within a couple days of getting them. It was a nightmare...then he would verbaly, mentaly, emotional and physicaly abuse me...it was horrible...I thought I would never get away. I kept telling myself he would change...he never did..he almost kiled me several times. I divorced him and it still took almost 2 years to get him away from me. DO NOT PUT UP WITH SOMEONE THAT WILL NOT HELP AND SUPPORT YOU WHILE YOU ARE TRYING TO GET WELL. THEY DO NOT LOVE YOU IF THEY ARE NOT TOTALLY THERE FOR YOU AT ALL TIMES. We all are not married to you...look at all the people here that pray for you and are here for you to talk to. You can not get well with this kind of stress. I know this too ...too well. I am not going to say I know how you feel...I am not you and I do not live with you...THAT DOES NOT MATTER...YOU NEED TO GET WELL AND THAT IS YOUR FIRST CONCERN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   BY THE WAY, I HAVE AN ANGER MANAGEMENT PROBLEM...I WOULD BE GLAD TO STAPLE HIS LIPS SHUT FOR YOU...IT IS FREE!!! LMAO
OMG...YOU ARE WAY TOO YOUNG FOR THIS KIND OF LIFE...PLEASE OH PLEASE ...DO NOT TOLERATE THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR...GOD DOES NOT WANT A BAD LIFE FOR US..THEN WHAT GOOD ARE WE TO HIM TO HELP OTHERS. YOU ARE SO PRECIOUS TO HIM, HE WILL HELP YOU, IF YOU LET HIM HELP YOU ...
My prayers are with you, just do what it takes to take care of YOU. IF he truly loves you, he will be right there beside you. Send me a note or something.
sammijo