my husband tends to lie alot, i have caugh him in lots of lies. when he lies it sounds so true, he can look at you straight in the face and just lie.and will make you believe he is telling the truth. but there is times when he gets caught, could be the same day or even weeks or month. i usally confront him about it, and still denies it.and just gets really mad. so conversation is over he stops talking to me for the day. next day he acts like nothing happend and i go along with the flow.he doesnt like for me to bring back what happend the day before. There has been times when he claims he goes to work so since i cant belive him anymore because of his lies in the past i end up driving around his work or call and find that he is not there. when he comes home he brags about how busy work was and how tired he is, even makes up stories of his co-workers that claims that worked with him that day.. sometimes i dont tell him that i know he wasnt at work, just so he dont get mad, but then i feel so depressed. But there is times when i just feel i have to tell him and when i do... he get really angry and starts to yell he starts to insult me and pushes mi around and say he is tired of me invating his space. that i dont let him breath.. he could be lovable and will repedivly say he loves me, he show lots of affection towards me and everything seems to be fine between us, but not until he is confronted in his lying.. his lying hurts and dont understand wh y he has to lie. what really hurts is his anger, how he throws things around, insults me with big words and wont listen to me when i try to tell him he is hurting me. he hates if i cry, and tells me he cant stand me anymore. but the next day he appolagizes and pretends nothing ever happen, when i still didnt get in explaination of his lying.. we have lived like this for a year everything is great as long as i dont confront his lies. im scared for both our sake and our two children.At times i feel very depressed and feel like i dont want to live iam taking counciling and taken med. but it seems not to be working , i am trying to undrstand if he also has a problem or some kind of disorder which i can help him with.Please give us some advice.
Its really hard to say as manipulative behavior and outbursts of anger can be some of the symptoms of psychiatric disabilities but generally they would not be the only ones. The first step is to speak to him from a different phone from where you live and let him know that what is going on with him needs to stop and needs to get help for it. He certainly should speak to a therapist and if he is willing relationship therapy might be helpful but he has to take the first step. If a therapist believes he would benefit from a psychiatrist then they can make a referral but they have to note fully what's going on as its complex and a psychiatrist would have to note everything and provide a specific diagnosis and there might be more going on mentally that your husband doesn't make you aware of that might show he needs further help.
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