finally admitting I am bi polar and need help

[god7help7me7]

ok a brief history. I am 25 years old with a history of rage attacks since the age of 3, I mean the kinda rage that once I lose it I cannot stop myself. I always turn to hurting myself never others cause it seems like the pain is almost soothing. Anyway I have been on xanax since I was 17 and had always just been diagnosed with GAD and depression but ssri's made me suicidal and all in all much worse. I recently was put into a psych ward after a night of drinking and a suicide attempt. Just as a side note I do not drink regularly. anyway while in there I was started on tegretol xanax and remeron. They seemed to work well but I am also on methadone for an addiction to oxycontin and the tegretol pushes meth out of your system so I was waking up in withdrawel everyday. So after I got out and hooked up with a new psychiatrist and talked her into switching me to lamictal. so far it isnt doing very much for me she also added klonopin with my xanax for my anxiety. now I am still on a low dose of lamictal 75mg and am going to be raising the dose again in 2 weeks. My dr. told me that if lamictal doesnt work that lithium is my last resort. I really do NOT want to be on lithium. does anyone else know of some meds that might help. keep in mind that ssri's and snri's dont agree with me. sorry for rambling I am on one of my highs.

[Jen813]

It's awesome that you are taking care of things.  I have been on Lamictal for about 6 months or so now and it really took a while for the med to adjust, and just now I am starting to feel a little better, but I still think I need some more adjustments.  I am really not certain on the meds that you can use as I am fairly new to all of this.  I have known there was something wrong for quite a while now, but was never diagnosed with bp until about 6 months ago.  You know, I am find that a lot of people on this site have been addicted to oxycontin or vicodin or opiates of some sort.  I went through that.  Went to rehab twice, got clean, relapsed, attempted to take my life twice and got in major trouble so ended up in rehab again (where I found myself a 4 month stay).  How long have you been off of the oxycotin?  Because your body was so dependant on it to stabalize yourself (even if it didn't seem that was what you were doing), it may take longer for you meds to adjust and get yourself back on track for recovery.  I know what you mean about lithium.  I know it works for a lot of people, but honestly it scares me.  Anyway, I wish you luck and if you ever need anything send me a message!!  Let us know how you are doing.

[god7help7me7]

I have been on methadone for 9 months and clean from oxy for 7 months. I was detoxing off of the meth but when I started waking up sick everyday I had to go back up 25mg just to make it 24 hours. I also forgot to mention that I was put on seroquel to hold me over through the switch of meds but it doesnt do **** for me not even make me tired. I am extremely irratable at this point and I feel that nobody understands what I am going through.