Hello lostindarkness. We were alerted to your post and hope you are alright. No one here can help you with your request and this is not what we want for you. We want to give you hope and to help you feel better. We also wanted to give you some websites that you can contact for support in your area:
Website: http://www.befrienders.org/helplines/helplines.asp?c2=Australia
http://files.suicidepreventionaust.org/Website/PEMHS.pdf
http://files.suicidepreventionaust.org/Website/CrisisCounselling.pdf
We wish you the very best.
I know how it feels and I hope you come back and let us know you are ok. I was not here when you posted this but I am now and I can help.
Please, call a Suicide Prevention Hotline! I truly hope you are able to get the help you need. You may feel at the end of your rope but I promise you, there is more rope if you just reach for it. Getting help is just the rope you could use. Please, visit one of the mental health websites or call a hotline. Know that people, even strangers DO care. Be well.