i want to be hypomaninc this winter

ive been in deppreshion the past 3 winters last winter was admitted to ward 5 days..suicidal ideation havent had a thanksgiving dinner in 4 yrs or a xmas and that's my BIRTHDAY ALSO..(so im bp2 ocd gad sad.) i mean i gt real down..if i could just get in a mixed state be better than what i go threw..MASYBE THIS SOUNDS KINDA WAY OUT THERE.but come on i want to  enjoye a winter and i just cant..i know my doc wont want me in hypomanic all winter but be nice just for the holidays...i mean i know how i can induces it..just take a celexa,,by the 3rd day im  in another state hypomanic..but again this may or may not make things worse..since im also ocd and the seasonal lack of sunlight??                     i know sounds crazy..i been hypomanic most my life..i was diagnosed as bp1  then 2..so when i was dx  they told me ive more than likey been like this all; my life...no i no i cant handel hypo all the time but y not a few weeks....

                                      whats ur input   thanks

[lindahand]

If you don't already I would invest in bright light therapy and a bottle of vitamin D. May not switch you into hypomanic but should help with the SAD. For me the crash from hypo to depression is a hard smack onto concrete. So for me it wouldn't be worth it. I can totally understand the desire though. Is there another med they could add to the mix that would level things out? I don't do well on the SSRI's (ultra ultra rapid cycle) but can tolerate Trazodone. It seems a shame to miss out on the finer things of life.