Bipolar Disorder is also known as "Manic Depressive Disorder". This forum is for questions and support for people with, or for loved ones of people with Bipolar Disorder. The forum covers topics ranging from Aggressive Behavior, Affect on friends and Family,
Alcohol and
Drug Abuse, Appetite Changes, Chronic Pain, Denial,
Depression, Difficulty Concentrating, Euphoria, Guilt, Manic Depression, Medications, Mood Swings, Poor Judgment, and
Sleep Disorders
I'm sorry this has happened but it isn't your fault. This time you know the truth.
You really need to stop cutting yourself. I know it is hard but please, please, please, go and get some help ASAP. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. :(
It's Sue again. I answered your post on another forum. I want you to listen to me now. You are in a very weak position with your Bipolar and he knew that. We with Bipolar are not always known for our clear judgement especially when we are trying to deal with our own crisis ( which you have plenty of in your life). He saw his chance and he took it. He used you.
Your guilt is misplaced. He is the guilty party and you should be angry at being used in a very vulnerable state. It is not your fault. Had you been in a better place you would have refused to get involved in the first place. Anger is the correct emotion towards him for using him but not guilt. Yes people have been hurt but not because of you, because of him.
He is manipulative and plays on people and I guarantee you that that is his angle to get to the women he hurts. Be thankful you have not been one of them. You have already been hurt and continue to be hurt don't add his guilt. I am surprised you have any space left to cut.
I will give you the same advice I did earlier. Get admitted where you can get therapy to help you thru the terrible abuses you have suffered because without this you will not recover and that is a reality. It took me 6 years to accept that and to be at your point to actually act. It didn't help my marriage but I had to put myself first and that is what you have to do. Only you can help you and you have to do it for you.
Accept my reasoning even tho you'd rather tell me to bugger off. Sometimes our most uncomfortable place is our comfort zone and to break out of that is scary. If you can just take that one step. I have invited you as a friend. Please take it. Together maybe we can muddle thru this.
Stay away from this guy and distance yourself from his family. He is not your responsibility. What is done is done. Look forward and start making some decisions to improve your life.
All my love
Sue
I agree you should be admitted. I never thought I would be and spent a week five years ago. It helps you get level. There should be community groups in your area, look up Nami and DBSA or Community support groups through the city or churches or synagogs.
We are here, we have life long experiences with bp and many with being Mom's while being manic or depressed.
Please get help first for the cutting. Your local gp can recommend someone. There should be a rape hotline that can put you in touch with other women who have been raped and help walk you through the memory of your own rape.
I am very sorry all this is going on with you and hope you will seek more help to find peace.
And also, just a thought, do you have a relative that could perhaps watch her in case there is an emergency? I just know how things can all change in an instant, and it's a good idea to have an emergency contact.
I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. Please keep us updated.