I suffer from guilt issues, too. I torment myself with guilt over things that have occurred during my manic episodes. Also, things that happened when I had my breakdown a few years ago. I just sit and think and think about it. Tormenting myself. WONDERING, if they REALLY knew me, they wouldn't stick around.
It's hard to forgive yourself - at least it is for me.
I just want to be happy and it just doesn't look like that's in the cards for me. (Guess you can tell I'm in the depressed side of a manic episode myself.) When I don't worry and feel guilty, I worry about not worrying! How crazy is that???? It's like I have to insulate myself from anything bad that might happen.
ANYWAY! Sorry to rant on about my issues in your posting!! I'm slowly coming off of Geodon and it's gotten me feeling like crap...
I hope you are feeling better soon.
I don't do the spending spree thing...I start hoarding for a rainy day. I get real psychotic and paranoid. My last episode I went into mixed state...depression and mania. Not a pleasant feeling.
its just all the guilt that follows and all the things that you do,i wonder why my partner doesnt leave me,thanks for the kind words
I think it is pretty normal to hit depression after mania. I think after everything is done or after it shuts off, you crash the other way. It's like jumping out of a plane without realizing your parachute is broken. One minute everything is amazing, the next you hit rock bottom.
Don't worry, you're not alone. We all go through the cycles. You can get through it.