lithium

[irishwriter]

why do i need to keep taking lithium. am up to 1200 with levels at .97 and have side effects of poor memory, confusion, nausea, thirst, tiredness and no benefits. am still trying not to kill myself because my daughter is still at home, had to put away knives, pills etc and have to stop myself from cigarette burning. I never did any of these self harm (other than suicide attempts!) before i started lithium. i have just come off effexor. and pdoc is talking about lamictal. i am ready to give up on meds. have been low now for nearly a year. help

[RJ233]

You are right you are a strong person. I'm so glad you got through that episode. I'd bug that dr, til he called me back. His lack of responding when you need him the most is not good. The ER will call him if you stroll up in there. He will have to answer them. We have a saying here " It is more than one way to skin a squirrel". You have to find a plan that works for your benefit to get to him.

Many people are intimidated by a hospital atmosphere, probably all to some degree. In the plan they came up with, did they say they would give you something to relax you when you got there? Make sure to tell them what you have taken before you got there so you won't have any reactions to what they give you. I will have you in my prayers. I don't know if it is the atmosphere, the idea of surgery or the thought of needles that tends to bring fear, or just the smell of sanitized areas, maybe all together. The longer you have to wait to get it done, the more time you have to think about it. Did they tell you it is a one day proceedure, maybe an outpatient prodcedure, just spending a few hours after, if you keep in touch with them?

You sure are right, life is not easy, even in the best of situations, something is always  going on. So we ride it out. You are riding out a rough storm, but you survive it each time. This last eposide was a rough one, but you got through it. I think your daughter helps you to bring strength to overcome. There is something about mother-hood that can make us draw strength for them. I know it did for me for years during some very dark times. Very dark. Your dr does need to do something about that med though. It is suppose to be helping you, not making it worse.

If you need to talk, I am here. A listening post. Sometimes it just helps to talk about it.   I know you are proud of your daughter, she overcame a trying time, and still made a great accomplishment. She inherited your fighting strength to over come. Take care, and keep in touch. God's Blessings, RJ

[irishwriter]

i really appreciate all the support. mornings are the best but by night time i'm below basement low again. can't go to hospital because there's nobody to take care of my daughter. pdoc had been great but lately he's not calling back when he says he will. am going to the hospital today to see if i can deal with paperwork re: surgery so that i can take lots of xanax on tuesday. Cannot relate to people being able to wak calmly into a hospital for surgery, am in panic mode all the time now and getting very little sleep. realised at about 4.30am this morning that i am a strong person and i will get through it and if life were easy, courage would be redundant. i just need help getting through the time! my daughter did really well in the state exams (results yesterday) in spite of missing a third of the year with depression and panic attacks and the death of a close friend two days into the exams in june. am so proud of her.

[RJ233]

I have been worried about you. I knew you were going thru the med change and facing the surgery. From reading what you have written, your condition has gotten worse than when I last talked to you. Go to the hospital, tell them what the lithium is causing, and  what is going on in your mind. But you need to get help now. You can advance to a total loss of reality and do things you don't even know. You have tried to keep your condition from your daughter, but she will soon realize and it is going to upset her. You can't hide that. Call the dr and go to the ER. We are all here and we care about you. We want you to get the care you need. We have been there and we don't want you to continue on that road. EVERYONE IS TELLING YOU THE SAME THING, BECAUSE WE CARE. Remember, it is the meds making you think those things, not you, it is a bad, bad reaction and it can be fixed. Your daughter is there, she loves you and she wants you well. You have tried to hide as much as possible from her. What will happen to that child if it goes too far? Don't put her through seeing her mom hurt herself. Go to the ER, don't wait, just go and let it all out when you get there, so they can do what they can to fix it. Keep in touch and let us know what is going on. God Blessings RJ

[LeftCoastChick]

I just weaned off Cymbalta, which is almost identical to Effexor. I have been deeply depressed and at times  suicidal. I was told by my pdoc that especially if you are getting off that type of drug (seretonin class) and not replacing it with another like it this will happen It's the first time in 15 yrs I have been without that type of drug.  I walked myself over to the hospital and had myself admitted due to the overwhelming urge to commit suicide.. If you are injuring yourself, you really need to go to the ER where they can watch you.

I started Serequal a month ago, and Lamactil 2 weeks ago, my pdoc said it will take a month or so before I will feel the Lamactil working.  This last year like you has been the worst for depression, so I can relate totally!  When I am getting suicidal thoughts, I deep breathe, find something to do - but I have my mantra " This too shall pass".
Know that you are not alone and you will get through this.
Much love, LC

[irishwriter]

thanks for support. btw. struggling with this particular episode for nearly a year. depression and different meds for thirty years. tired out!

[Venora Moonwind]

I am just going to echo Jikan . ou are not alone. You have us to help you through this.
Love Venora

[Jikan]

Namaste,

With regards to your lithium, you need to discuss the side effects you are experiencing with your provider as soon as possible. There are viable alternatives to lithium with fewer side effects. The problem is that different medications react differently on diffferent individuals.

I've been on Effexor without any success, but am currently taking Lamictal with good results, so this change may be helpful to you.

I know you've struggled for a year, but unfortunately sometimes it takes longer to find the proper therapy to stabilize an individual. It's been 7 years for me and we still don't have it quite right.

Suicide is never the answer to your disorder since treatment and recovery are probable. Self harm is often a "cry for help" or an expenditure of anger that you feel within yourself and fail to let out in a rational way. Counseling would be useful here.

Regardless, based upon what you have said, I think you need to talk with your mental health provider honestly about what's going on inside you, not only intellectually, but emotionally.

Stay strong. There is hope for all of us who suffer. So know that you are not alone and that we would like to know how you are doing, so please post again and until then take good care of yourself!!

Michael