need help

Hi i just wanted to know if there is such a disortor of a mother hateing her daughter

[DLA]

Can you tell me more about what you mean?  How old is your daughter?  Why do you hate her?  Is she in any danger from you?  Talk to me, okay?

[dgarza_2023]

no im the daughter.... i was just wondering because all my life my mother has treated me different i was the one always getting in truble and its been nothing but problems with her we never had mother daughter relation ships and she was very abusive to me verbaly as i got older i started fighting back and would tell her that i hated her and when i graduated from high school i left. now that im older and have moved out lifes alot better but i was just wondering

[Crystlas]

Sounds like the typical cycle of abuse.  Abusers usually learn the behavior when they are growing up.  It becomes a part of their personality due to an abusive upbringing.  Was she abused as a child?  That is probably where it stems from.  I know this from personal experience being in a very abusive marriage.  After I left my abuser I went back to college to study social work in order to help others that have been abused.  I also did most of my research papers surrounding different levels and the cycles of abuse.  If you have any questions feel free to ask!  

[DLA]

I agree with Crystlas.  Am so sorry you had to live this way.  Mothers should never be like that, but unfortunately it happens often.  Being a mother I don't understand it at all.

The good news for you is that you recognize it and when you have your own children you will know not to act that way and can make sure the cycle ends with you.

[Pyrate]

I came from a severely abusive home too.  My mother is bipolar and it went undiagnosed until a few yrs ago.  I'm 37 now btw.  I developed certain things in my life that were not pleasant but I'm working on them with counselling and meds.  I have discovered through going to college and studying psychology that I was severely given a lot of the things I've been diagnosed with.  My mother always told me that she wanted girls not boys, I was told I was just like my father & that he was the next best thing to scum.  After hearing this stuff for yrs you tend towards believing it.  I talk to my mother about once a mnth, if I have to.  My relatives (big difference between them and family) don't involve themselves much in anybody's lives but their own thankfully.  It sucks to have parents like this but all we can do is learn from it and be better than they were to us.  Shane

[undertow]

could it have just been your over-exaggerated teen angst?


all kids, once they reach the teenage years, but heads with authority figures and some handle it differently than others.

[oneinneed]

Do you know if you or your mother are bipolar?"  growing up with a bp dad , I know alot about  the abusive situations and having a child who is bp I could tell you alot about how mothers feel.

[debj52]

i was going to ask the same thing if your mother is bipolar....my step daughter is bi polar and she acted like she hated my grandaughter ...was even abusive to her ...but thank god we got her and her brother out of that situation.....deb

[Crystlas]

Why are bipolar parents abusive to their children?  I could not dream of hurting a child.  I have read so much on bipolar adults abusing their children and it scares me a little with planning my own family.  Are their not bipolar parents who are loving to their children and raise them in a healthy, happy home?  

[debj52]

actually yes there is loving parents w/bipolar....my son-in-law has bipolar and he is like one of the most mellow people you could know...he just has a problem w/managing his money....but a great parent...so yes there are loving bipolar people...good lucl and take care....deb

[Crystlas]

Thanks!  It seems the in my reading I come across so many situations where bipolar parents are abusive.  On top of being bipolar myself I have suffered through lots of abuse.  I just hope that when I have children I can be loving and non-abusive despite my past and my illness!