nowhere to go, noone believes me

Please can someone help me??? I don't know why but I am too afraid to call the suicide hotline... I freeze up when I talk to people face to face, doctors, they all think i'm lygin, exaggerating... my mom, dad, brothers... noone cares... I am goingn tyorough a crisi right now... I am pushing eveyrone away, please please. No one believs me. noone. I am so sad, so sad but my thoughts are racing and have this horrible horrible rage and am so paranoid of eveyone and i think hallucinatinh i can't take this anymore... i can't. i don't want to live like this anymore.... why doesn't anyone believe i don't feel good/ i can't get through work... i can't even plan my wedding... i am losing chunks of time... i just don't remember. please can anyone tell me if there is a suicide online support so i can talk to someone... the only reason i can't go through with this is because my fianceee is watching me like a hawk... making sure i don't take the car. it feels like my skin is crawlinmg and my head won't stop! can anyone help me> i have no money. nowhere to go. no insurnance. i am just going crazy...

:o(

why should i care anyway? even if it isn't this time, it will be some time. i just want to take away everyone's pain... including my own..... i'm done

[leesarene]

:o(

i thought this was my journal, is there any wy to delete this?

[LetaB]

Oh, you poor thing. Why would you want to delete this here? It serves the same purpose. The Samaritans is the only online help I've ever found. They're kind and understanding but if this is a situation influenced by your mental condition then you probably will only receive minimal comfort. If you are seriously contemplating suicide then call the fricken emergency number and get some real help! It sounds like you have a lot to live for, sweetie.

[BipolarBear75]

Hi, where are you? If you are in Ottawa..there is a crisis line here and the surrounding areas....there usually is one in every province in Canada. But I forget where you are from. These crisis lines are great, they are anonymous.

Please try these, and if you want someone to talk to ....though not qualified....write me and i will give you my phone number. I will leave it up to you.  

[Bear13]

Please, please seek help from someone.....   you're young, you've got a lot to give to the world, and leaving it is not an option.   You are part of a community now who understands EXACTLY how you feel.  Please seek help from someone, starting with your doctor......  you need to take control of this, instead of the other way around...  you will perservere and overcome this, but seek the help you need so that it doesn't get the best of you.........   please keep in touch....