struggling with either side effects or mood

I have not posted on the forum before I think, so please be gentle :-)

I am really struggling with my medications (and my mood) at present.  I feel that I either have high side effets but can function or lower side effects and cycling or, as a present, plain depression.

I take lithium, lamotrigine and a low dose of depakote.  the main side effects are intermittent flat affect, permanent dazed feelings and detachment with dizziness. the other stuff is minor and tollerable.  I am trying to take all meds twice a day to maintain steady levels.

I stopped antidepressants nearly 2 months ago due to a 3-6 week interval rapid cycling that was worsening over the last year.

since my mood has been bloody everywhere, so we started the depakote - result: I have been either low-to-normal or fully depressed.

I want to remain on stable doses but seem unable to do so as I want to be able to feel and function.  I have been out of work for a couple of years due to a major deterioration in my condition and just cant seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel, let alone getting back to work.

Just some practical advice, comments or ideas would be appreciated please.

alternatively, thankyou for reading my moan.

Rob

[paranoid_cataclysm]

Have you tried many other medications.  There are quite a few options in regards to medications you can try.  There is also ECT and TMS that they can try for if you have bipolar disorder as well as other mental illnesses but the former has some risks in its own right but the latter is noninvasive and supposed to be safer.

[Xila31]

I agree this is something you need to bring up to your doctor. If the side effects of the medicine make you feel just as bad as without it, then you need to try something else. There are lots of different medicines to try and it can be annoying having to try one, then another, but you shouldn't have to suffer if the medicine is making you feel worse.

[drblue]

thankyou.  I am sick and tired of being a guinea pig.  i want to be stable but as soon as i am it seems that my side effects deteriorate and no matter what I do, they are problematic.  the lamotrigine helped lots with motivation and a more positive mood but I need to be careful as it does send me a little wired and agitated.  

I miss the days I was just on an antidepressant!

AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!

[feelgreedy]

Hi there rob read your post and that was me for the last 4 yrs, i ahve tried nearly every med available but found my self flat no emotions and then on a major high, the rapid cycling was driving those around me insane. So I went to see pdoc and spoke to him honestlyand said that I just couldnt cope any more..
I am now on olanzapine or zyprexa to most people. 8 weeks later my rapid cycling has stopped, my moods are managable and NO flatness. It is a very much pot shot with meds for the bipolar and it is horrible to be treated as a guinea pig but there is hope. I am now slightly more ( normal ) if thats the right word... lol I like to think I am eccentric. Good luck Rob and I hope you find the right meds . Dee x

[kelden99]

I hear you and I feel your pain. Being a guinea pig with meds is awful. Keep looking and asking questions. You do not deserve to have the side effects as bad or worse than the symptoms.

[cowgirlnerd]

I am going through the same thing with mine.  I have the detached feeling constantly.  I am afraid to complain to much to my pdoc because when I do he adds more meds that make me more flat.