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typical bipolar behavior?

I live with my boyfriend and his mother in a house I own. I am 29 years old and have discovered both him and his mother have symptoms of bipolar. I have been in a relationship with him for 12 years. And he just started showing signs recently. She is being treated with Seroquel and he has yet to be seen by a doctor. I have made an appointment for him next month. When he wakes up in the mornings by an alarm or by me and not on his own, he gets very angry. He`ll throw his phone and say things like he might as well drive off a cliff. He slams doors threatens to kill the dog and cusses. Eventually he`ll say sorry, but this keeps happening in cycles. Sometimes he`s very angry at night as well. Once he started his laundry and fell asleep, so I asked if he wanted me to finish his laundry. He said I don`t *^(I^(%! care if you throw it away! ...Its seems when he gets depressed he gets angry and when his mom is depressed she crys and crys over the littlest things. I`m so stressed out my hair has been falling out so much my hair stylist said I should see a doctor to check my thyroid. Anyway...my question is is his behavior abuse or perhaps just part of the bipolar disorder. It keeps happening and it makes me so angry, but I keep my mouth shut so he doesn't get angrier.
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Avatar universal
That makes sense, about his illness coming to light when being in the same environment with his mother. I never thought of that. Knowing that your husbands paranoid schizophrenia was fixed so quickly is wonderful. No, life is not easy and I guess whatever doesn`t kill you makes you stronger.  I`m sure it was hell for both you and your husband. I`m very glad you guys made it. Yes it could always be worse. I am very greatful for what I have and do not have.

I have a wellness center down the street. I will look into yoga or at least something to do for myself. What a good idea. Thank you.
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3060903 tn?1398565123
Ah, I'm so sorry that your mother in law is having such problems with her leg.. how awful for her. It's good news though for you and your spouse to be on your own to handle things. That in itself might significantly break any cycle that your husband is drawn to (his family vibe) . It' makes perfect sense that your partner's illness has been sparked by his mother's illness. He may have had this illness when he ws with his family of origin undiagnosed for years. and the simply change of him leaving home may have helped to keep his illness dormant. It's going to take time to get the answers, and for the government housing and disability to come through. Please take stength in knowing that many person's (like my husband whose bout with paranoid schizophrenia was fixed almost immediately with the proper environment and medication. Every case is so totally unique.

All i can say is that my relationship with my spouse is only stronger from going through the hell of undiagnosed mental illness. It took a 3 month commitment to a hospital and 90 days in a treatment centre to get us to a balanced place to build back our relationship. It was and is well worth the effort. We truly became each other's family , and have been building our life closer than if it all had not happend. Life is not always easy, is it? We can only be grateful we are not dealing with a tragic deadly diagnosis. THERE IS HOPE HANG IN THERE ~ TAKE SOME time to yourself to be get away and find some peace. Maybe take up yoga. I've heard the heated yoga sessions are intense. Might be something nice to do if you're in cold country. My prayers are with you and your family. Liz
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Avatar universal
Thank you for your response. He and his mother have no where else to go. She is on a waiting list for disabled and low income housing. She should be out by January. She had to have half a leg removed, she is seeing a counselor and a psychiatrist, she just started on Seroquel 2 weeks ago for her sleeping, but they never told her she was bipolar. Her daughter has been diagnosed as bipolar and so I believe she and him most likely are as well. I didn`t feel so much stress until she moved in. She pushes his buttons and when she crys, to me its like she`s trying to be manipulative. I can not afford my house without help and I don`t want to give up on 12 years. For the most part I just ignore his bad moods until they pass and he is better. Until he sees the doctor I`m not going to make any decisions. thank you again
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Avatar universal
The severity of bipolar symptoms varies from person to person with the illness, but he sounds like he needs immediate attention whether this is bipolar or not.  I hope he goes to the appointment you made.  Prepare for a lot of patience if you plan to stay with this relationship.  Medication balance (or even convincing someone with bipolar disorder to get on and/or stay on medication once started) can take years to reach, and a good therapist is needed to help learn how to track and manage symptoms to avoid/lessen the impact of episodes.  

If you're this stressed now, how are you going to handle the next few years?  Is there any way he and his mother can live/stay somewhere else for a while (even a few days) to give you some relief?  It sounds like you're in over your head.

Also, is the mother under the care of a psychiatrist?  It sounds like she may need a med adjustment.
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