what can I do with my 8 yr

[silverwingz]

I have an 8 year old grandchild that I have been raising for 7 years. He is out of control. He can be just fine than out of no where he becomes irrational. He screams, hits, kicks, and other such behaviors. I am not referring to typical children's temper tantrums either. I am almost afraid of him. He is abusive to his brother. He can't and won't see any other view point but his own. He has physically hurt me. Then as quickly as it began....it ends as if nothing ever happened. Some times he is remorseful, while other times he just changes mood and goes to play. He is on Abilify 2x day but it does not seem to help. I can't discipline him as he will goe into these rages. I am afraid his behavior is beginning to run our home. I am at my wits end.....and can't get any answers from no one. I have been told that he is too young to be Bipolar. IS this true? How can a wonderfully smart child gor through so many mood changes. At the moment, this behavior only shows up at home and other families homes. He seems to be able to control this behavior when at school or friends. Is it possible that he is only angry with me...? He definitly has a behavior disorder. He feels he is above the rules and that no one is supposed to correct him for making wrong choices.

Desperate!

[hell1971]

I also have an 8 year old who I suspect has BP, I became ill last year because my daughter sufferred a major depression for 8 weeks. She has always cycled since a baby, we used to joke that she must be hormonal. As the years went by she has been diagnosed with several diagnosis including GAD Generalised Anxiety Disorder. When we tapped back in for help last year with the child mental services they agreed it wasnt GAD because her symptoms were not typical, we had lots of assesments and it was very stressfull, I was posting on here for help, I had never her of Bipolar, I became so overwhelmed I went to the docs and was prescribed an antidepressent which then within 4 days of taking it sent me manic and I was diagnosed with Bipolar. Her docs would not diagnose her as Bipolar as they do not recognise it in children in NZ however my doctor beleives she has a mood disorder and has just had a chat with her doctor, I am yet to find out what the outcome is, but now I have been diagnosed I truly beleive even more than I did last year that she has bipolar. She is waiting for an appointment as we are now back in crisis with her. The reason I beleive she has it is because she goes long periods being a "normal" kid with "normal" behaviour then as stress mounts for her like extra sports or outings or lessons she starts going down hill, last year it was the dentist, her birthday and ballet, we suddenly have meltdowns like no other, she starts to withdraw, starts saying she wants to kill herself. She also is highly inteligent beyond her years and is able to control herself at school, this was a big concern for me until one therapist told me that this would be exhausting to her and she manages it and once she gets home it all comes flooding out. She is always remorseful and becomes depressed and has very low self esteem and then she goes hypo and then  thinks she the best thing since sliced bread. I have four children and they have all been raised the same way, her sister is only 1 year younger and has none of these problems. When she is well she is a conformist will never break rules, desperate to please and shows great empathy. The only advise I can give is make sure you get rest bite and look after yourself, be consistant in disapline, my daughter has been taught the coping mechanisms and uses these but when she has a major mood swing it all goes pear shape and there is nothing we can do but to remain calm and manage the situation so that her siblings are protected and that she remains safe. I beleive she has bipolar, I beleive this because of discriptions she has given me I can totally relate too, such as all her worries in her head are like moving bugs and she can feel them and theres so many I cant keep up, she also hallucinates. No she hasnt been abused, no she is not treated any different to any of our other children, she is a sweet, lovely child, her teachers want 30 of her in the classroom, its tragic to see and I can only be there so push for help and take it when its offerred. Good Luck

[bernie40]

There is little I can add to the others comments.  It does sound as if he definitely needs to be seen by a child psychiatrist and/or child psychologist to determine exactly what is behind these rages.

I do know of someone with a child of nearly 7 who is exactly the same and it is down to inner anger from the break-up of his parents marriage.  There could be so many possibilities.

I would also advise you to see if you can find a support group for yourself and other family members.  Having an angry child/teen/adult in the house does impact on others as you have already said.

[therese83]

You need to think about how he can be in control at school.  He is very young and I think he wouldnt be able to 'hold it in' if he was truly mentaly ill.  So is there more going on here, past issues? and it could be that he is taking them out on you because he feels safe with you?  You need the support of a child development psychologist, someone who specialises in behavioural problems.

A great book is "transforming the difficult child the nurtured heart aproach, but Howard Glasser"  It can really turn a child around.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

Some people think it's controversial to have a child be diagnosed with Bipolar disorder.  However I know someone who has had it his entire life and in the documentary Stephen Fry made on Bipolar Disorder, there were a couple of kids who had it.  Some doctors are going to be against diagnosing someone as young as 8 years old while others are going to believe it's a possibility.  As with all things more research is needed and if the medication's not working it just might not be the right one for him since all medications work differently for every person.  Don't give up, eventually the doctor will figure out the proper treatment.

[ILADVOCATE]

I couldn't tell you whether his diagnosis is correct or not as a variety of psychiatric disabilities cause behavioral disorders. It depends what else is going on. Speak to the psychiatrist as to why they believe its bipolar. But remember a psychiatric disability is biochemical. Its not just "bad behavior". Its not something someone can willfully control so easily and medication is treatment. Its not there for behavior control. It has its place but you have to remember its there to help him in many ways. I would suggest in addition to medication and talk therapy that cognitive behavioral therapy might be worth considering.