what could be wrong with me?

[rjk1223]

Hi I have been to a psychiatrist before and she diagnosed me with depression and anxiety which I got off of the meds she gave me cuz they all made me feel worse and more suicidal thoughts would come forth. She had me try effexor, Prozac, celexa(spelling idk), venalafaxine and I think that may be it. None made me feel better. I prob suffer from PTSD I've had some traumatic experiences in my life but my feelings are getting worse. I have no sex drive and my husband suffers from that I also am very moody. One min ill be hunky doory and the next I'm so furious I'm wanting to punch and throw things. I do have kinda neutral times where I feel indifferent and I can't decide how I feel but I'm also very paranoid of public places because I feel everyone has bad intentions towards me like they are judging me or gonna attack me. My moods cause problems with my husband and I because ill be happy and he will say something to set me off and I'm full blown angry! But after a lil while I'm looking at him like why are you so upset for its not a big deal. I def have spells of hyperness where i do really weird things and I'm overly happy. And then I have spells where I consider ending my life because I feel worthless. I am so very up and down every min I feel and I'm so lost.

[rjk1223]

Thank you for the reply I very much appreciate it! Actually....I think she did put me on lexapro I think that was the med I forgot to put down. I did research a few in my area but I got very nervous and never went and I've been trying to deal with it myself which is prob a terrible thing to do. Your right I need to get my hormones and stuff checked too I've got a terrible fear of needles so that's prob been deterring me from going! Yup I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety but she didn't seem to care about anything but medicating me up. I've had some horrible experiences growing up so I thought maybe I have PTSD....but do you think I may not have it? Does everyone who have trauma get PTSD? I did start a mood tracker app just to kinda see it out of my mind if that makes sense and throughout the day I'm very up and down. Which I kinda knew already but seeing it infront of me makes it diff somehow. I feel for your sister in law! I get bad bouts if paranoia where I act erratically. Mines especially with people not responding back to me through text or phone idk what it is but it makes me just so worried I text them a million times wondering if I made them mad which is something I am always worried about ill even text my sister and ask if shes mad at me even though I've prob done nothing. I'm glad she is doing better too! Feeling that way is now fun and I very much dislike it cuz it makes me feel like I'm crazy. Especially during my days where I have pure anger for no apparent reason and I see myself going around slapping people or just beating the crap out of someone. I dont think I'd ever do it...but then I fear what if I snapped and I did!? Would you suggest like just a regular therapist or like a psychologist? Idk where to even look for help. I take fish oil, prenatal and l-lysine and I actually have issues about working out where I can't miss a workout or I get extremely irritable and its all I think about if I miss it. But I'm gonna take your suggestion on yoga maybe that will help me! I def need to figure out my anger outbursts idk when I will snap and actually throw something. I've kicked things but I don't want to break anything because I'd end up having to clean it up. Thanks again for your help and any more suggestions I'd very much like!

[Crystal413]

You've come to the right place. There is a lot of support and knowledge here. In my opinion I would get a second opinion from another pscychiatrist. Research to find a good one, very important. I noticed you never tried Lexapro. I am surprised as this is a common one. Also, some peoplelike yourself could benefit from a mood stabilizer in addition to an antidepressant. Some people with bipolar can't take antidepressants, it makes them manic. I know you were dx with depression but I thought I would include that just in case it was helpful. Your symptoms sound like more than depression but I don't know much about the ins and outs of PTSD and depression combined. That's why a full work up by a pdoc is important. A person can have PTSD, Depression and Bipolar. Your symptoms are key. Have everything your feeling written down for the pdoc and yourself. See if you have any patterns and the frequency. It's hard to remember if it's not written down.

My sister-in-law has PTSD and depression. There was a period of time she had paranoia too. She takes Abilify and Lexapro and has a very good pdoc.
She is doing so much better.

Everyone is different, has different symptoms, respond differently to diff meds. It's trial and error.

Therapy is essential. Having your vit b, vit d, iron and thyroid is a must to rule out any deficiencies.  I just got my hormones checked too. I was deficient in all of them. Still waiting on hormone results. My vit b and vit d is prescription. Many people reccomend Deplin, which is a breakdown of folic acid. Your folic acid might be fine but the way your body breaks it down is not. Deplin is a prescription. It is not a drug.

Exercise, even just walking, meditation and or meditation CD's or an AP, just trying diff things can help. Definitely sleep regularly and enough if you can. Figure out what works to help you sleep. When your angry, remove yourself from the situation, take some nice slow breaths where you can see you belly move in and out. This for me really helps and distract yourself.

It's work to get better. It just doesn't happen on it's own.

We are always here. Ask as many questions as you like and we will try to help.

Take care, Crystal