why im i like this

[cheeklollipop]

Hi my name is laura im 25 and i got alot of question about bipolar.
I was diagnosed with bipolar II  3 years ago when i finally hit rock bottom.
I now take 800mg of lithium 60mg of citalpram my mood is stable most of the time till sometimes i get really scared, lonely and panicy especially when im at work or out shopping i never want to talk to people and always walk with my head down hoping people wont notice me.
I also have an angry issue i can snap at any moment and i imagine hurting that person.
I get parnoid that people are talking about me and i can feel myself getting really mad.
I know im not a nasty person and i would like to think i would never hurt anyone.
Do i really have bipolar?
Or is there something really wrong?
can anyone help?

[crzychick]

Sounds like your at least hypomanic.  The shopping and wanting to party.  Give the pdoc a call.  S/he will just adjust the meds.  Either by upping the mg's or giving you a diff. med.  Like Pyrate said they don't put you in the hospital unless you are a danger to yourself or others.  Even then they don't keep you forever.  Just until they get you stable  and know you won't hunt anyone.

Make that call.  And thank your b/f for looking out for you.

[Pyrate]

If you don't go to the Pdoc you're just going to continue in this train till it ends in a low you might not recover from.  Please go see your Pdoc.  There is nothing wrong with saying that you need help and most Pdocs don't want to lock anybody up unless they're extremely harmfull to themselves or others.  You're not depressed enough to do yourself a mischief so try the Pdoc first.  Me tweeks happen all the time for all of us.  Nothing is going to work 100% but you need something to get closer than what you are on now.  I've had great luck with Risperdal & Invega but I'm also schizoaffective/bipolar so you might not need quite that much help.  Talk to you Pdoc and be honest or you're not going to get any better.    Shane

[cheeklollipop]

i could be manic i have been spending money my boyfriend took my bank card off me,
and i really wanna get high and party, ive also started drinking again not a lot but im still doing it i know it will make me depressed but i dont really care at the moment just want the buzz i have also got an addication a lucazade sounds strange but i need it to get through the day my energy levels are ****

[crzychick]

Sounds like you just need a med adjustment.  Be very honest with your Pdoc and tell s/he everything you told us.  You are not going to be put away.  

It sounds like you're having a bit of apanic attack.  Along with, well have you felt yourself a bit on the up side?  A lot ppl start with "happy" manic but then they can go into irritable, angry, rage manic. (dysphoric mania).  Nothing to get worked up about.  Simple med tweek or change.

Calm down and make a call.

[cheeklollipop]

To scare to go to the doctor incase they put me in a mental clinic
I got my own place and get affor to be offer work to gewt better i will lose my home
i worry abiut this all the time and i find im lying to my doctor so she wont sign me off work

[kris123]

I feel just like you - i feel like the odd one out when shopping and i don't have any friends at all maybe one - i feel cazy and i have major mood swings i am getting on new meds i would go talk to your dr