Birth Control (Contraception) Community
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This patient support community is for discussions relating to birth control and contraception and the various options in practicing birth control.

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am i?

Hi i would like to be put on the pill. but sadly my mom thinks it is a really bad idea. but to me i think it's safer. and so i guess my question is if i have to have my parents consent to get put on the pill?
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Avatar_n_tn
Depends on what state you live in - in most states, you can get the pill through planned parenthood without your parents approval, provided you are over 16 years old.  If you can't get it, ask your mom how she feels about raising a grandchild while you're still a teenager - it worked on my mom.
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1006512_tn?1264626492
i live in Bellevue Nebraska, well that *****. my mom doesn't want me on the pill because then she now's i am having sex and that she doesn't want. if i tell her i want on the pill she wont let me go any where. you are lucky that it worked on your mom it wont work on my mom. if i do end up getting pregnant they will just kick me up.
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Avatar_f_tn
YOU ALL ARE TO YOUNG FOR SEX BUT IT YOU DO HAVE SEX, USE PROTECTION THEN YOU MOM WONT HAVE TO KNOW ****, BUT IF YOU DNT USE PROTECTION YOU MIGHT END UP PREGNANT AND MIGHT END UP WITH A DIEASE THEN YOU WOUD HAVE TO TELL YOUR MOTHER BECAUSE YOU WOULD HAVE TO GET CURED AND TREATED FOR PREGNANCY AND STD, HIV/AIDS!!! USE PROTECTION!
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1006512_tn?1264626492
how do i tell her that i am though? and no I'm not i am turning 17 in January so i am not to young to have sex. i know better to use condoms and things like that, if there is no condoms then we cont have sex. i have told him that a lot of times. he is clean and so am i so i cant get a disease.... RIGHT?
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Avatar_f_tn
YEA, IF YOU REALLY TRUST HIM GO HEAD, BUT PPL COULD LIE!!! AND YEAH, JUST TALK TO HER, TELL HER YOUR BECOMING AN 17 YR OLD, AND YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE ON A METHOD EITHER THE SHOT OR PILLS! TELL HER YOU DONT WANT ANY KIDS AND SHE SHOULDNT WANT ANY GRANDS! LOL & IF SHE STILL DNT, JUST TELL YOUR PARTNER TO PULL OUT WAY BEFORE HE NUT, AND BEAT HIS MEAT AND NUT EITHER ON YOU OR NO SUMTHING ELSE, BUT NOT IN YOU!!!
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Avatar_f_tn
JUST TELL HER TO HAVE THE BIRDS AND THE BEES TALK WITH YOU!!!
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Avatar_f_tn
I would just stick with condoms if I were you.  I wonder sometimes if getting on the pill is worth the health factors that could potentially come with it.  I've been on the pill for almost two years and I find that it makes it easier to think that it is okay to have sex without a condom since I can't get pregnant, but it does not protect you against STDs.  A lot of guys who say they have been tested haven't and say that they are clean just because previous partners have said that they were clean.  I've had it happen firsthand.  Just be careful.. it is hard to remember all this in the heat of the moment.  :)
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1006512_tn?1264626492
well thanks i know to stick with condoms, i don't have unprotected sex at all. it is gross and an easy to get a disease or get babies. all though i do want a kid now but my boyfriend has said no just wait until i at least graduate he is not wanting to mess up my future. well he has had sex once and that was the pull out method which didn't work. she got pregnant and then got an abortion 6 months into the pregnancy.
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1006512_tn?1264626492
i do trust him i trust him a lot. which is weird because i don't trust a lot of people and have never trusted a boyfriend before. the pull out method doesn't work with him since he got one of his ex's pregnant his junior year. and she was a total bit#$ and got an abotrion 6 months into the baby all because my boyfriend and her brother didn't get along. and he is affraid iam going to do that. my mom will just make me break up with tom. and wont let me go anywhere there is no adults.
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Avatar_f_tn
I always thought I knew how to stick with condoms too but when you do trust a guy, it perceived to be more romantic, ya know?  I would say make a day of the both of you getting tested at the clinic.. a couple grown-up thing to do (and to make sure he's clean, lol.)  There are some STDs that can be passed even with a condom on (not to scare you.)  & That's pretty respectful of the guy not wanting a baby yet so that you can graduate.  Yeah, I would definitely get graduation out of the way so you can spend time with the baby and not have to deal with all the drama that comes with it at school.
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1006512_tn?1264626492
yea i do know that. i just don't know how to tell him i wanna go and get tested just to be sure. wiht out him thinking i have an std or something you know what i mean? december11th is our 7 month aniversery. and he said he would like to try adn if i can't do it we will wait till i am for sure ready. that's what his mom siad to buyt if it does happen it's going to stay with his mom
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1126459_tn?1261922127
well, some birth controls arent safe, some cause HPV and some (if take over a long period of time) will destroy your uterus to where you wont be able to have children. I rather not take it (i am married, so i can so that). I was on the patch, but I didnt really feel it was safe because it is a patch, how is that suppose to work?(i thought) also I was on a Birth Control that I didnt have a period for 3 months and then at the end of that third month I would get it and it would last a week. BUT it didnt it almost lasted 2 months. My friend had sex with her Husband and was on birth control and he wore a condom and still got pregnant. You cant really say that birth control is safe. you dont know who is being safe these days. Dont have unpretected sex untill your married. at least have the guys give you the test results from his HIV, HBV, HCV, AIDS and STD test befor you have sex. YOU DONT TO DIE YOUNG......DO YOU?
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1006512_tn?1264626492
oh wow that is some scary information. so what should i do just have protected sex and get both of us tested? i am good i would rather have it for a week than 2 months. i know that i am clean i got my ex's tested before and after we had sex. shoot i guess my friends got pregnant that way to.
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1126459_tn?1261922127
I'm sorry, I dont want you to make a bad decision and you have to regret it. You are young and you have your whole life ahead of you and sex is one thing that shouldnt be on your mind righ now.....its not that important. sometimes its not even that good. I once dated a guy who looked all cute on the outside, he was fun, made my laugh and all that but one day when we went to have sex, I felt like I couldnt even find his penis or feel it. it was bad. just focus on you and your life and focus on making yourself happy. focus on a career or make a plan for your future. I didnt do that and now I am struggling to make end meet and I am only 24. make sure you know what you want to do with your life. ...... if you get prego, you will not be able to handle your life and the babies. My sister had a one night stand and ended up prego with twins. all I am saying is becarefull and make sure you know what you are doing.
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1006512_tn?1264626492
I know that, lately that's all that anyone seems to be doing. i lost my best friends over my boyfriend. i love my boyfriend to death but i just dont have a girl friend to talk girl stuff to anymore. well i feel that i was ready, and i got the courage to have it with him Saturday. it was fun and nice but i got to the middle and ended up freaking out. then my boyfriend said maybe we should wait a few more months so it will be even more special. i am making myself happy by being with my boyfriend. i used to be so depressed all the time until i meet my boyfriend. i am now joining sports being around my family making friends and going out in public more. instead of cutting or sleeping or crying all the time and not talking to my parents. we were safe Saturday and i have taken a test to make sure i am not. and it was a negative which is an awesome thing.
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1126459_tn?1261922127
Thats so cool. I really dont have any girl friend but im okay with it. my husband is my best friend and I have had  friends stab me in the back over the guy i was dating. I dont need a girl friend to talk girl stuff to. If i have a girly prob i go online a find a solution. I am with my husband all the time and we laugh at each other so much. he is amazing. you dont need a girl friend to talk to. you are your best friend. you need advice, you, your own self is the only one who know's you (and God of course) but you dont need anyone to tell you something you can only know about. no one will understand but you. just keep your chin up and handle things on your own. thats what us women have to do. no one knows you but you.
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1006512_tn?1264626492
well i am only a sophomore and boyfriend is graduating this year. so when he is gone who am i going to eat lunch with talk to before and after school? i am not okay with not having ANY friends but my boyfriend. You can search for solutions online? i mean i love being around my boyfriend. he makes me happy and we laugh at stupid stuff and we so get each other. i really love him. but there is just some things i cant talk to him about. do you know what i mean? GOD? who is that? i cant handle things on my own. if i do then bad things end up happening..... i am not sure if i even know my self anymore.
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1126459_tn?1261922127
Im sorry its so long.

When I was in school, I had friends who I thought I could trust. I told them everything and thought they wouldnt  tell anyone but found out that there is no such thing as a secret. Those friends would go around school and tell anyone. Also, when I thought I had a best friend I could tell stuff to but when we had an arguement or a little spat, she would seek revenge and tell people my secrets. I had friends who turned there backs on me just to be with there boyfriend or to hang out with the person they would liked to be there boyfriend. I had guys who I liked and when I told my friend that she would try to get with them too. If you find a friend or if you have one already, think of a trust code.
What I mean is test that person, make up something that you can do or say to your friend that will show you that you can trust that person with your feelings and secrets. you can make up something (kind of like a lie) to tell them and see if that person will go tell the world or actually keep it inside. You have to test people these days because no one can be trusted.
When I was in high school I dated guys that had grad. already and I had a friend and it was more like a school only friend. we ate lunch together and had some classes together but when school was out we didnt really hang out.
I also had a gay guy friend. He was awesome. He wasnt the type who was all about pink and girly things, he was still manly and we had alot in common and if he wasnt gay I would have dated him. but we shared everything and he didnt go and tell the world about it, he wasnt that kind of person. (he moved away and I havent talked to him in years)

What I ment about the online thing is, medical stuff and info about you. like if you have a symptom bothing you, you can go online and look it up instead of telling you parents or friend. like if your stomach hurts, look it up online and see what you can do at home to cure it. instead of going to the doctor or letting anyone one know.

I do have a friend. (im sorry I forgot to mention it) She didnt go to my school, she graduated 2 or three years before me and I met her at a party. She is the same hight as I and that is why we met. I am 4'10 and we look alike and act alike and like the same stuff but since she wasnt at my school and didnt know anyone from my school I knew I could trust her. She lives in Oklahoma now and I dont ever get to see her but we still talk. I dont tell her everything because somethings she doesnt agree with me on.

What do you mean you dont know who God is? He is the Greatest person in the universe. He helps me thru everything. He sent me my husband and got me to stop drinking and doing drug.I prayed for months for him to send me a guy who loved me for me and someone who didnt cheet one me and someone I could trust and would be my best friend and someone I could marry. and God finally did it when I stopped drinking and doing drugs and started to obey him more. one night before I met my husband (like a few weeks or so) I went out and got hammered. so messed up I drove home (and my friends let me) and was in the drive way, car still in drive, I was passed out and didnt know how I got there, my mother walked outside and woke me up crying and I felt so bad cus it was her car and she never felt that way towards me before. I couldnt look her in the eye after that. I could have been in an accident and dead but God wasnt ready for that and wanted to show me a different way, a reality check. I was hurting my family and didnt realize it. They dont show me love but they do love me. for some people they might not show it because they are shy and afraid. but my family will do anything for me and wants the best for me.

The only way bad things will happen to you is if your let them. you are the only one who controlls you. If you are feeling sad about something, write it down. when your done writing. read it out loud. then analyze it. I mean look at what you wrote and ask yourself. why? why dont I like this? how can I change this? If you have a problem you can call me and talk to me, I can help. I am a happy person, all the time now. I get up each morning and go to work but I always keep a smile on my face. I dont curse or get angry. I know that getting mad or cursing at someone or something like that will only make me look stupid and immature. and thats not what God has for me.

But I do have a question, Why did you cut yourself? why were you crying?
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1006512_tn?1264626492
oh it's fine i like to read long things from people it makes me feel happy. i have trusted people in school and they did go tell people things i have told them. i mean there is somethings that they new where way to personal and would be wrong to tell people that. testing people is what i do a lot. but my friend errika she would lie all the time. and the weird part was that her stories didn't make any sense at all. i love errika like a sister but she bossed me around and yelled at me if i didn't do what she said. which made me so mad. and she always told me how much she hated my boyfriend (tom) and how he treats me so badly. but honestly he doesn't he makes me so happy. and they only see the **** head side of him, but that side is when we play argue for fun and we now that the other one is joking. well i do look stuff up and it only makes me go huh? i don't understand it too much, or there is to many options. and it mostly has SEE YOUR DOCTOR OR TALK TO AN ADULT. bleh bleh bleh. well i do have a few friends. but they are just in my classes that i talk to. or toms friends. god is not really to me. sorry if that makes you upset or you wanna disagree. but i stopped believing in him, when he has taken away 10 of my friends in 5 months. so i say he is not real or god would not take my loved ones away from me. sorry again if that upsets you or anything. i cut because it felt like it was the only thing that made sense. i cry because it helps me calm down and breath every once in awhile.
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1126459_tn?1261922127
God has a plan for all of us and if the plan is for someone to go to heaven at a young age then thats what it is. no you didnt upset me, my friend that is in oklahama she is married to someone who feels the same way that you do, he stopped believing because his grandpa died. but sometimes its just there time to go. it doesnt matter what age you are. I cant wait till I go to Heaven. I know its going to be awesome. I know that Heaven is a much happier place then here. I always tell myself that being here is just temporary and that when I do die I will be in the mansion in the sky. You shouldnt stop believing just because your friends died. you should be so happy because they are in a much better place then we are. They are having the time of there lives while we are stuck here trying to live each day by day waiting for our time. but until that time I am going to praise him and thank him for all that he does for me eah day.

you have nothing to cry about. I am a really shy and sensitive person and when someone yells at me or raises there voice I will start to cry. but I have given up on tryign to get other people to make me happy and just make myself happy. I draw and paint all the time, I create things that I think is cool and makes me happy, but when someone else sees it and thinks it looks good and cool, it makes me even more happy.

you need to do things that make you happy. dont rely on other people to do it for you or try to read your mind and do it. Go out by yourself, drive around, draw, create, do things that you love, not things other people love you doing. never try to impress someone, impress yourself.

I hope you not friends with that girl Errika still. she sounds like a terriable person. never let your friends control you. if you do then your not being you, your being your friends. I would never be friends with someone who treats me like that. I wont hate them but I just wont be there best friend, maybe a "hi" or "hello" every now and then but nothing else. im not telling tou to get rid of her. just sit there and think....what does she do to make you happy, to confort you when you need it, is she really your friend or your sister? pick out the things you to have incommon and the things you dont. it make a difference.
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1126459_tn?1261922127
I just noticed that you have a poster of paramore on you wall.Thats so cool, there my fav.
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1006512_tn?1264626492
well i just gave up on him. i have tried to going back to believing in god but he has only taken away people i cared for. everyone thinks i am jsut being dramatic. but im not, when i express how i feel to my mom all she does is say please joscelyn that is not ture. it might not be true but it feels like it. and then when i try to explain she starts to yell and that gets me pisted so i yell. me and parents dont get along to well. when i get home i go do the dishes take out the dog then go to my room. unless we have company and then i come downstaris to entertain my cousins or tom is over.  i do belieive that there is a heavan but there is no god. i'm sorry. i do make myself happy. i like to write poems or draw pictures and listen to my music. i love to bowl so i bowl for 3 diffrent leagues. i stopped trying to impress people last year. when people started to talk crap on me. the only person i really try to impress are my super super crushes. i know that sounds wrong since i am dating tom. errika also says that i am a person who has drama fallow me everywhere i am. but really that is more her than me. i have had only a few dramas and she has had more than 20. okay i ahve a question? is it wrong okay. there is this kid alex i think he is cute but thats it. and i like him to mess with me. like flirt smile make me laugh or kinda rubb my back. when tom is not around and alex is in almost al my classes. i think i just need a guys affection on me. is it wrong?  well errika is starting to talk to me now and i am scared she is planning to like do something bad to me.
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1126459_tn?1261922127
I know what you mean. my family is the same way. no one understands.well is the only reason your attracted to him is because of whats on the outside? What about the inside? how is di different then the guy you are dating. If you really love Tom, you should let other guys show you affection too. It gets confusing and you'll end up cheating on Tom and hurting him. After High school I came to realize that those guys I dated were nothing but looks. all I saw was what was on the outside and didnt pay any attention to the inside. I dated a guy that I like, we had everything in common I like him alot but one day I sheated on him with my ex and I have not heard from him again. I broke his heart and mine at the same time. It was horriable. I never cheated on anyone again. Guys are going to show you affection and flirt with you alot but you need to set bounderies. If you love Tom and you dont want to see him leave, then dont let anyone try to do that. They might not be meaning to do it but it happends. Dont let Tom see you and alex together. If he thinks you are cheating then he will do it too. Believe me, you dont want to be cheated on. It hurts so bad.......You know, Karma is true. ......I cheated on a guy with my ex, started dating my ex again, then he cheated on me. Dont let anyone tell you different, what you do to others is going to be dont right back to you....you can do something to someone and then it might take days,months,year before it happens to you.

If she wants to talk to you, dont let her in fully. She doesnt seem like a good person. Dont ever let anyone treat you bad. If someone starts to treat you bad, get rid of them because it will get worse.
I dated someone who hid things from me, not items, but info and I didnt find out the truth till I left him. He was talking to other girls behind my back and he was mean to me and would call me names but I thought he was joking, but he would act like a kid at times and the a hissy fit, I thought he was joking but he was so so so mean. my friends didnt believe me untill we broke up and they were hanging out with him more.

But n/e ways just watch her, dont fully trust her yet, see if she has change emotionall and mentally. how is she acting towards you now?
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1006512_tn?1264626492
I dont let tom see me with alex, i only talk to him in english history and math class and if i see him outside. i have already lost tom 2 and i dont think i can bare to lose him again. i cant bare to lsoe him again i thinki would just go way sad. how do i show my affection to tom more? i mean i already kiss him alot and make him hugg me alto adn idk if he tried of me or what. it's hard to beleive what he says sometimes. tom acts like he is annoyed by me but says he isnt and i dont know waht to do. i love tom so much, i can not CHEAT i dont have the guts to. and either does he so taht i dont have to worri about. i will takl to errika but i am not going to pretened we are fine. errika is talking to me and laughing in front of people. but she will send me messages that are rude.
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1126459_tn?1261922127
The only way you will know is if you ask. I do it to my husband alot. You have to ask Tom what is it that I do that needs to be changed? what do I do that annoys you? Tell hime to be honest and that the truth will not hurt your feelings it will only make you be a better person. well im glad you arent going to cheet on him. You need to sit down with him or get him to write it down. dont question him about it, just do it. dont start an arguement because it wont help. you have to write it all down too(the things about him)


Errika is only doing that for attention. Dont give it to her. Giving a person what they want will only make them think they are stronger ignoring them and doing things to make then upset or bothered by you will only make them weaker. She prob thinks you are scared of her and wont do anything about it and is going to keep on and keep on. She is just doing it for kicks.
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730826_tn?1317946934
What parent in their right mind would think its a bad idea. Ok so you could be too young (I dont know if you are personally) but the point is if you are or could be having sex, better safe than sorry. Do parents of young girls really think no pill will stop them from having sex? It will just mean the chance of STDs will be higher and teenage pregnancy. If you think you will need it, then get it.
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1126459_tn?1261922127
You cannot get it if your too young and the doctor needs the parents permisson first.
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1006512_tn?1264626492
what if toms mom gives them permisson? or if she goes nad buys it but its for me?
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1006512_tn?1264626492
umm well i wont be able to go anywhere. since i want the pill and they will not let me be around tom anymore. i am 15 going to be 16 janurary 9th
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730826_tn?1317946934
Not most places...no where I know of that you do need permission. Its retarded that you need permission to protect yourself from being a teenaged mom.

Jawzlyn: Id see if there is somewhere that will allow you too without your moms permission and see if a friends mom or something can take you. Worse comes to worse, condoms and spermicidal lube.
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1126459_tn?1261922127
From my experience the best sex you'll ever have is with your husband.

When I was having sex before I was married, It was ok. I just did it to make the guy happy or to like me but it didn’t make me happy. Every time I had sex I had a guilty feeling afterwards. Feelings like I did something wrong and knew it but didn’t care and did it anyway and a feeling like someone was mad at me afterwards. It was weird it just felt bad.

In the beginning your flirting with someone and your conscience saying don’t go too far, slow down, but your body is telling you to rip his clothes off now. You end up doing what your body says and either you get a weird surprise or maybe a good one but you always have a weird feeling after. Maybe one like, how many other girls has he done this with, I hope I did everything right. Will he still like me after this, did I like it, did I have an orgasm or did he? Why have to stress after sex when you can relax and take a nap or hold each other, shower together. When your not married, your more cautious about him seeing you naked and wondering if he thinks your still sexy with you clothes off or would he rather you in the dark. Or does he or I feel comfortable with him seeing me or being here after sex. Or maybe you are thinking whom else is he sleeping with? Is he cheating on me or playing me or only wanting me for sex. Even though there your boyfriend, they still could only be with you for the sex, some guys do that, and some girls do that too.

When you’re married, you’re free. Your husband thinks you’re sexy no matter what. And you’re the only one he is having sex with. You’re his only one and you can have sex as many times as you want and no one is there to stop you or walk in. You don’t have to sneak off and have sex. You can walk around naked all you want. You can do whatever it is you want to. I always ask my husband how I look and is there something I need to change and I tell him I love him every chance I can get. We discuss things and have never had a fight or argument. We have no reason to have one. I had boyfriends that had bad attitudes and I knew if we would argue it was over for me. I don’t like it and once you argue and fight, you will always argue and fight and it won’t work out.
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Avatar_f_tn
Well, from my personal experience, DO NOT use the pull out method. It doesnt work all the time. I speak from experience. Plus sometimes the guy just cant hold it back enough to get out in time. As for birth control, some people need different kinds-- I have been on three different kinds and they affect your PH levels-- causing yeast infections and BV and sometimes people are fine with the pill they choose. If you honest to goodness believe that your guy is clean, *as in you KNOW him, or he has been tested* then you might want to try the pill, but condoms are the only thing to protect you if he isnt clean. My first lover wasnt a virgin, but he had only had sex once before and he hadnt had sex in a few years and i had known him for 5 years  so I knew he was clean. You also have to ask yourself *if you havent already had sex with him* if you really want to give yourself to this guy, if he's really worth it. I came from a religious background so I was totally for waiting until marriage but I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with this guy by our first time. Just realize though that if you are in the mood and you get enough pressure from him, you wont care if there is a condom around, you'll try to pull out. Just please dont do that though-- I got pregnant from that mindset.

Anyway, back to birth control. I think the only way to get the birth control with your moms consent is to say Hey, Im going to have sex, and I'd rather be sure with a daily pill than worry about a condom falling off or not having one around. If you arent close with your mom, I guess you could try to get the pill without her, either by going to the Drs or going to a planned parenthood place, but just know that those things cost. Even with health insurance, both Yaz and NuvaRing were still $50 a month for me. It all depends on your health insurance, and how much you can really afford to hide from your mom if shes completely against you having any protection
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1006512_tn?1264626492
i have herad what you have said before thank you for that inforpation
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