I just recently found out from my mothers therapist that she has BPD, and now that ive noticed it I feel so blind. The problem is, her personalities come directly from her childhood. She has her anal everything must be clean personality, her people pleasing personality, her child personality, her anxious personality, her mothering personality, and her facts personality. All of them directly effect me and the rest of my family in a negative way. Since I turned 15 this year, I have been given a lot of responsibilities in relations to her... How do I do this? How can I get through this without it finally pushing me over? I already feel half-way insane from anxiety...
Best thing to do would be to go to a support group for children with parents with a psychiatric disability such as NAMI family friends and family members support groups. They may have specific support groups for this issue as well. Also family therapy an be helpful as well. You should not have to take on responsibilities but it would be helpful to learn some ideas on how to react and her own psychiatrist could speak to her about maintaining appropriate emotional boundaries which is often part of bpd. Her recovery should be refocused back to her and her psychiatrist and therapist (and if she is attending dbt therapy which can be of help as well) and part of it should be trying not to involve family members. Its good to be supportive but you should not be in a position of responsibility.
I think its unfair you have to deal with this, i have a personality disorder and i would never expect my children to look after me. I am surprised your mothers therapist told you that your mother has bpd. You need to look for as much as support as you can for yourself, and find out as much as you can about her illness. Good luck.
Your mother is an adult, let her deal with her own issues. Personally, I don't believe that your mother's therapist should have disclosed her disorder to you (unless your mother requested this or there were safety issues).
Set limits with your family. Tell them that you don't want the responsibility. It's not yours to take.
As you are feeling stressed yourself it would be good to discuss this with a doctor or to access therapy yourself or with the rest of the family.
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