I'm 17 years old, and since I've been 10 years old i've been feeling on/off feelings of depression. I have been diagnosed with Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder a couple years ago, but i've known i had a sleeping disorder for many years before that. Maybe it's caused by the lack of sleep, but i know i have Seasonal Affective Disorder, although i've never been officially diagnosed because i have never seen a psychologist. For a couple of years, i have been blaming everything wrong with me psychologically and emotionally on the extreme lack of sleep and SAD, put recently i've come across the definition and symptoms of BPD, and i feel like it corresponds to what i've been experiencing for the last 4-5 years at least. The reason i am hesitant to see a psychologist is because:
1- i don't open up easily, as i have lived some traumatic events i don't wish to speak about, even to a shrink
2- i live in quebec, where it takes months to have appointments with child psychologists; the waiting time is shorter with an adult psychologist, but you absolutely need to be 18 to have an appointment
3- i have tried speaking to my regular doctor and parents, but no one takes me seriously because i manage what i live and feel very well, i keep it all inside so that it doesn't show on the outside
4- an official diagnosis would mean that the problem is real, and i dont think i'm ready to fully acknowledge it
So my question is: what should i do? is it possible to have all three disorders ( DSPD, SAD AND BPD) and are they somewhat related? could one cause the other?
At your age the level of your thinking is appreciable . Generally knowledge will not cure but it helps to avoid the deepest pits ..
First of all , some points for you :
1 .There can be multiple diagnosis for same person
2 . Never self diagnose
3 . ALWAYS CONSULT A THERAPIST AND GRADUALLY OPEN UP TO A TRUSTED THERAPIST . Bottling up will not help in long run . Its difficult i know but generally it gives some relief .
4. Btw do you cut yourself etc ? I have BPD traits but dont have the full blown disorder . Also i have delayed sleep wake cycle but its fine for me because i sleep a full 8 hours and still have a job .
5. See some therapist as early as possible and decide that you will open up gradually as soon as u r comfortable . I wont say "BE STRONG " and all that stupid dialogues but seeing ur writing I feel you are a person who can love yourself , get the therapy help , learn about the disorders and gradually get better . Whoever doesnt understand ur disorders and symptoms dont care about them . Dont fight them :) but they may or may not understand .
as we understand ourselves with help of a good therapist and medication if necessary generally things improve . Keep posting :)
Thank you so much, your comment helped a lot. i used to cut myself last year, but i think it was because i was in denial facing my then recent drug and rape. As soon as i accepted the fact that it had happened, the cutting was less and less often and now i do it very rarely
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