BPD and bereavement - how should I cope

I was diagnosed with BPD about ten years ago and have been desperately trying to manage it since with the on and off help of medication and therapy. However, a previous abusive relationship set me back and during the beginning of my therapy my sister with simular condition was killed by a car, during a stay at a pysch hospital. I have found this too hard to cope with struggling with suicidal thoughts, self harm, mild overdoses, anxiety, paranoia, and totally irrational behaviour. I am off sick from work - this I have never been and my relationship with a brilliant man is suffering in a big way due to my behaviour. Any suggestions, words of comfort or help would be much appreciated.

[Jaquta]

I think that everyone copes with grief in their own way.  I think that talking about it with someone is helpful.

Have you considered respite?  It's less intensive than hospital but could provide a much needed break from everything.

Probably I would advise talking to a psychiatrist about what is going on and about how you're feeling.  I think that medication could be useful.  I also think that it's incredibly important to get into good therapy with a good therapist.

Could you let your boyfriend/ partner help you?  Let him in.  Talk to him.  Let him support you through this.

My advice would also be that whatever you do don't do anything stupid to make your situation worse.  Taking excess meds, etc is not the answer.  Safety issues, etc are there because we feel overwhelmed and feel powerless to do anything about them.  Maybe look at what it is that is causing you to feel that way.  

It sounds like your sister was being proactive about seeking help.  BPD can be extremely difficult to live with, both for us and others.
Have you thought about therapy as a way to finish what your sister started?  Would that help motivate you to do the things you need to to achieve that better life that you both wanted?  recovery can easily be about both of you.