BPD at 28

[Marahheather]

Has anyone been diagnosed at 28??  I lived my whole life with depression and some outbursts but in the last year and a half I have completely changed.  I got addicted to Percocet last year, after having the gastric bypass and my first boyfriend.  I was waiting until marriage to loose my virginity which I lost last year after meeting my ex.  Since then I have been percocet free for 8 months atleast but other horrible lifestyle changes have come into play.  I've become a pathological liar, I've started smoking cigarettes (I quit marijuana) which I lie to everyone about.  Since the weight loss I've been recognized by men for the first time and I ended up lying to my mother about going to a torah lecture and having sex with some guy I've only met 3 or 4 times and getting pregnant.  I ended up having to have an abortion at over 2 months of pregnancy (the worst day of my life).

I cannot seem to stop. A therapist and myself diagnosed me with BPD and we have begun Dialectal Therapy, although we havent even begun the therapy because every week seems to bring another big, tremendous fight with my family and weve discussed that.

I feel like I cant stop searching for a high, escape or lying.  I've completely lost my relationship with  my family.  I'm on cymbalta and abilify.  Also klonopin for anxiety and adderall (adderrall) for ADD but nothing seems to be helping.

As a matter of fact, last weekend I had sex with one of my employees which led to my mother having to fire him (btw I live and work with my mother and sister too).  Im completely lost and exhausted.

I just needed to vent all of this and know if there is anyone that has lost themselves this late in life.  Was it my weight all my life hiding this BPD?? And now it chooses to come out?? or is it something worse...

Does BPD get worse?????

[truelove1201]

i also was diagnosed with bpd at the age of 28 ... i was in a miserable marriage that kept my bpd symptoms hidden.. i was having sex with diffrent men, lieing all the time and having many outbursts aswell always willing to speak my mind..i never saw anything wrong with this picture i just figured since i wasnt happy this is why i was behaving this way but after that failed marriage i found someone who i love very much and they have made me begin to realize my behaviors are not right .. there was mant times i would want attention and if i didnt get it  i would begin  to cut on myself and taking pain medicinel to "make me feel better" i felt very lost and out of control ... life for me seemed unbearable at times and sometimes still does.. i am not on any medications my way of thinking is if i take medicine to make me not think the way i do then it will prolly end up making me worse with a diffrent disorder .. i am now 30 years old living with my bpd is still tough because i take it out on my partner .. i have made some positive steps to change on my own such as not having multiple sex partners and not cutting on myself..with dropping those behaviors thoe i have picked up anxiety and a bad temper ... i have noticed what has been helpful to me is i need to keep my mind at all times occupied when im not it wonders off and i begin running my mouth to my partner in my attempt to get attention .. well in regards to your question about your weight hiding your disorder i too struggled with being over weight only recently finding out many people that are bpd are also bulimic and i forsure didnt think a bulimic could be someone overweight... i feel bpd can get worse it can be a constant struggle its somthing you have to do within yourself to try and fight it and be strong .. therapy is the best way to go i wish i myself could get some...

Good luck and stay strong

[Marahheather]

Thank you so much for your response...when you get our age you think that you are either crazy or at the end of your wits.... you give me hope  


Good Luck to you too and ill try and stay strong
Congrats on finding such a wonderful man!!!

Marah

[ndrmast]

Life is a constant struggle and i am there i am 29 and went through dbt and it was a good class to help out but you need to stick with it.Also is hard because my life is in constant hell because of m weight and other problems and i wish i could find someone to help me find out what could help me with my bpd and also lying and stealing from the people that i l;ove or that i live with so i know what some people go through on a daily basis with life and health.

[Marahheather]

why do we tend to lie and steal from the people that are closest to us...I guess we know they will except it the longest.

[freebird227]

My heart goes out to you, I can only share my experience with you that may not fit with what others have felt or done.Around the age of 16 I started acting out in negative ways. Skipping school smoking pot taking speed and running away from home.What I know now is that most of that behavior was done in an altered state.I was terrified of sex because I was raped as a young girl.So I got the terrible name as a pr ck teaser,because I wouldn't go all the way but I would make out. My illness progerssed and so did the behavior.Did I happen to mention that I was beautiful?? I always felt like men only wanted me for my looks.I tell you this because I want you to know the physical apperance swings both ways.In my mid 20's I found myself in full blown addiction married to a man who had committed murder and was on his way to prison.With a daughter 8 years old So I entered rehab at age 25 My recover began. I learned a lot there about my self destrustive beavior. My addiction was a lot to do with self medicating Anything to take me far away from the self  hatred I felt. This was in 1985 and there was not a lot of BP or BPD Going around So I spent the next 13 years working the twelve step recovery program with much sucess. Then about 7 or 8 years ago the walls of jerico came tumbling down.And I was in bad shape,but I never relapsed on drugs. Now I supposely have both BP and BPD What I have found is that if I keep my mood stable then I am able to behavior modify my BPD. Not to perfection by no means but I am really working on the emotioals. I have a network of friends that help to keep me in check.But I still spiral as good as the next on. It takes work and committment to make it through the tough times without acting or behaving poorly. But I won't give up.I wish for you the gift of reclaiming your life however inperfect it may feel. Do whatever you can do on a daily basis to regain some level of peace.Start with little things and work your way up You may no have a chemical addition but thee twelve steps of NA is a great road map for anyone looking some ordely direction I hope this helps you in some way Feel free to pm me if you would like. Be Blessed

[aber2]

I was diagnosed with BPD in my late forties so I guess it's never too late for the diagnosis.  I thought my main problem (mood disorder) was depression and anxiety but now think that was covering up the BPD....it's hard but at least I know what I am working with with meds and counselling.  But it's tough because my thoughts seem so rational and the rest of the world is 'out of step' ; sort of like PMS but worse! I hope the therapy helps. Oh! I also have recently been.diagnosed with ADD. and that just adds more difficulty to my life.  But keep working at it because we deserve a better quality life than we have right now.
take care,
aber2

[debrody]

Dear Marahheather,

I have been reading some of your posts.  I am not a BPD but there have been two of them in my life that have really touched my heart.  I see a therapist for adjustment disorder with depression.  I have read several books on BPD and know that you have my support.
In terms of getting better.  According to the DSM-IV BPD can reduce with age almost to the point were the criteria is no longer quite met.  With that said I personally believe it is treatable.  I know there are therapists out there that wont treat it and my advice to you is to find one that will.  I am not a therapist but if you ever want to talk I am here.  And I will listen.
Take care and be blessed.