I have no hope at all, people tell me I am never going to get better because my symptoms are too severe and have too much of an impact on my day to day behaviour. I've tried to live a normal life but it fails and fails over and over again. I just want to hear some success stories, so I can have some hope that one day I'll be able to cope with this condition.
I just want normal things: to be successful, to be happy, in love, have my own family, have a good career. I cant seem to get any of those things though. I seem to fail at everything I try at and people end up telling me to just give up. I don't know if I have any self confidence left anymore. Even my own family tell me to just give up. People love me at first but then just leave or end up hating me.
I cant seem to stop self harming as a way of coping and everyone just gets angry at me for it but I feel like I don't know any other way of coping, I've tried so hard I have healing books, loads of them, I have a high dose of medication, I see doc and psychiatrist regular and I go to weekly therapy DBT sessions and use samaritans, nothing helps though. Does that mean I can't be fixed?
I can't seem to let go of that inner bully in my head that can crush me so easily. I had meltdown tonight and I wanted some comfort but all my family could do was be mad at me for not coping, telling me I need to deal with the harshness of life otherwise ill get nowhere. How is that supposed to make me feel any better. I cant eat, I can hardly sleep, I feel suicidal at least once every month and take dangerous risks when I'm not in control.
I even started smoking weed to calm me down and it helped for ages till I couldn't get it anymore. I just want to be proud of myself and get somewhere, make something of myself instead of being this ill out of control 24 year old who's stll at college. I went to uni and got a degree but it's pretty useless to me, so I went back to college to do drama. I feel like it's really important to me and I try so hard but I think maybe I end up putting too much pressure on myself. It's only because I'm so desperate to do well though and make my family proud of me.
I don't know what to do anymore. I'd really appreciate it if someone could prove to me that actually it is possible to heal, as I feel like I've lost all hope and my life is pointless and may as well end. If someone was as ****** up as me now, but got better then maybe I won't feel so desparing. I just want to fight it but how can I with no hope? so please anyone, tell me it's possible.
I wouldn't say I'm a success story but I do believe there is hope for people like us. Instead of focusing on the negative that leads you to feel like a failure... focus on the positive... 1.you've gone to college and completed a degree AND continued your education!!! GREAT JOB ON THAT!!! 2.you refuse to settle with your diagnoses and you're still fighting the fight to live the life you deserve! YOU'RE AN AMAZING FIGHTER 3. Despite the negative people in your life you haven't given up... BE YOUR BIGGEST CHEERLEADER!!! And always remember that YOU are the one dealing with this ALL DAY EVERYDAY!!! People who don't have this will never fully understand the pain and exhaustion. So just remember you are strong and there is always hope if you are still willing to fight the fight!!!
Ditto what andibarton said!! You have to be pretty amazing to have fought this long and still keep fighting!! Keep it up!! And, yeah, I reckon there's hope . . . I've been in therapy for 11 years on and off and I can definitely notice improvement, I've gained a lot of control, not there yet but the progress I've made is wonderful and makes the hard work all seem worthwhile. Accept yourself and keep on fighting!!
I am not a success story but i have been told there is hope for me with the right therapy and support, on the outside i look ok and seem to fuction ok its underneath i struggle but don't give up there is hope for everyone.
Copyright 1994-2016 MedHelp International. All rights reserved.
MedHelp is a division of Aptus Health.
This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information.
The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. Med Help International, Inc. is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. We disclaim all responsibility for the professional qualifications and licensing of, and services provided by, any physician or other health providers posting on or otherwise referred to on this Site and/or any Third Party Site. Never disregard the medical advice of your physician or health professional, or delay in seeking such advice, because of something you read on this Site. We offer this Site AS IS and without any warranties. By using this Site you agree to the following Terms and Conditions. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your physician or 911 immediately.