Can't Keep Going

Over the last few months, things have been getting worse. Now, I'm in a constant state of sadness, and will cry at the drop of a hat. I'll fly off the handle for no reason, lashing out at who ever is closest. I went to the doctor recently to tell her whats been happening, and she said that BPD is one of the strong possibilities as to what could be happening to me.
Since then, things have remained the same; still sad, still hopeless, still angry. I can see what it's doing to my family, especially my mum, and I want to stop hurting them so bad, but no matter how hard i try, i can't shake it. I'm considering going away for a while, or permanently; not sure. Lately, suicide has been appealing; if i'm not here I can't hurt them anymore. I've considered admitting myself to a hospital. I just can't do it anymore...