Could I be "Borderline"?

I am the type of person who always has to have someone with them. I've been in my relationship on and off for the past 3 going on 4 years, but I have also had one other serious yet unstable relationship within that time. I have trust issues, and I'll be fine with my boyfriend (and other family members) but then all of a sudden I just get this instant rage like I want to fight someone. For example, the other night my mom told me to tell my boyfriend to go home so I could go up the street and it just made me so mad. She came home and I just started going off on her and ever since that little episode I'm kind of wondering if something is wrong with me. Also, I came across this borderline personality disorder and read several articles about it and the more I look at it the more I realize I have many of the symptoms. Such as depression, relationship issues (unstable), trust, anger, hate being alone or feeling like I'm going to be left.

I really want to go see a psychiatrist but I don't even know where to begin... Can I have some help or just talk to someone about it?

[bibigirl1210]

thanks for the advice and sharing your story. i feel the same way i really don't want to disturb anyone with this. i told my dad last night i really feel like i need to see a doctor but he just kind of laughed at me. and well, i have no job, i can't really pay for it. i just don't know what to do. i kind of think i'm either borderline or bipolar.

[Jaquta]

I'm unfamiliar with stuff in the States but have heard that there are low-fee or zero-fee clinics available.

If you can afford too I would recommend you see your family doctor.  They can do the necessary physical exam (blood tests, etc) to rule out other medical causes.  They can also refer you to a psychiatrist.

If your father is unsupportive of mental health issues maybe he would take you to the doctor for a physical cause.  Depression has a lot of associated physical symptoms.  It may be slightly manipulative but the important thing is to be able to access support.

A psychiatrist would be a good person to talk too about mental health issues and can do a proper evaluation and provide a diagnosis, which would enable appropriate treatment.
The earlier you get treatment for any condition the better.

You could try ringing your local menatl health service for advice about your particular situation.  They may be able to offer advice and alternative suggestions.

Based on what you write you could have bpd but you would need to see a psychiatrist to have that properly diagnosed.

[bibigirl1210]

yeah thanks for the advice, i'm going to look into that. as for the stuff i wrote, i just want to see if i could relate to the people who actually have been diagnosed with it and see what they do and how they are treated for it. just kind of confused you know, i'm young, i have huge dreams, i just want to know what could happen.

[Jaquta]

Sometimes the symptoms aren't always the same as people often have other issues/ disorders as well.  Eating disorders, anxiety disorders and mood disorders seem common in those with bpd.  Not everybody with bpd has those though.

A lot of people with bpd are women and 75% of those are said to have been abused.
Not everybody has to be a woman or have been abused though to be diagnosed.  That's why seeing a doctor is so important.

I was first diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety and then later bpd.

For me, doctors have advocated medication for the anxiety and depression, although I don't take meds.
I was offered therapy and then later therapy with one dbt skills training session.  I'm not a huge fan of dbt skills, although I do think that they can be helpful.
What was most helpful for me was intensive (two-three therapy session a week) of psychoanalytical psychotherapy.

Treating the disorder when you are young is much easier than when you are older.  I guess we can become a little more entrenched in our ways as we get older.

Having dreams is important and likely there are no reasons why you can't achieve them.

Treatment for personality disorders just generally involves talking through your issues, etc with a therapist.  Depending on how severe the issues are this could take a number of years.

If you don't treat it, and you have it, your issues can become worse or interfer with your ability to function (work, have healthy relationships, take care of yourself, etc).
Some people who have bpd and are depressed can hurt or kill themselves.  That is one risk or being depressed.

The above post sounds like it has some useful information.  Can you try that as a source of information/ help?  Also there is a mood disorders expert forum where the doctor may be able to advise about other potential options.