Do People with BPD come back to you afer leaving you out of the blue?

I am 22years old. A little more than a month ago I met what i thought to be the girl of my dreams. The way we met was like taken out from a Movie. We met on an airplane and there was a very strong overwhelming chemistry between us.
She quickly told me about herself ( family issues , how she had problems relating to other people) a bit of a "victim" but not necessarily blaming others but more blaming herself. She had an ex boyfriend whom she dumped 3 times and cheated on and would always talk about him with Guilt in her eyes. She quickly introduced me to her family, her best childhood friend, i was very wonderful to her. It was all very perfect and intense, she confessed she was "sick" and "abused too much of the things she liked" and didnt want her contact to me to become a way of escaping herself. We became very close and intimate and one day she told me she wanted to be my girlfriend, that we should be formally in a relationship. I said yeah. The day after she met up with her ex to talk and after that she started acting very anxious ( she also has an eating disorder) she began to slowly push me away and even though i tried to be there for her she didnt let me, i decided to leave her alone ( something personal happened to me- ) and she was not there for support of any type- instead , one day i found a letter in my mailbox from her telling me " our time together was a short adventure and that maybe this wasnt the end or maybe it was etc" and Brochure for her Therapist, so I can also go to Therapy... I wrote an honest letter to her, offering my friendship and went all the way to her place to talk as an adult and offer her my caring and my friendship but she said " im not ready for a friendship with u". 3 days later, she posted pictures of her ex boyfriend at her place on Facebook , which deeply hurt me so i Erased her from facebook.
She never told me she had BPD but it really sounds like she does, I have a feeling she never really trusted me and always saw me as some sort of "gigolo" without any reasons.
I dont want a relationship to her, but I care a lot about her and it hurts that she could just walk away like that from me.
Do they make second reappearances?

[ufcfan]

Wow! That sounds like a whole lot of drama on her part. Those seem to be things that someone with BPD would do. Being someone that has BPD I can honestly say that I've done the same thing. I've been so affectionate and loving and then all of the sudden I just pushed away as hard as I could. I lost an amazing girl by doing things like that. Here's the thing though, she sounds kind of mean. I never went back to some other girl and put up pictures of someone else like that. You don't sound like some kind of gigolo and you seem to still have feelings for her so that shows that you have a heart. Sometimes people are just mean. It seems like when someone says they can't trust you it's because they have something that they feel guilty about and they think that you're doing the same thing. Remember, not all girls but some girls cheat. Some girls lie. Guys do to, I'm just saying. I hate to come out and say this but, every and I mean every girl that I've been with has had a boyfriend when I met them. I don't know what to say. I did the disappearing act but, then I came back. I even tried to convince my girlfriend to move back to Ohio even though I would break down into tears right after I did it. I hate to say anything bad about her but, that just sounds weird. I had an affair with a married women once and she was so loving and open and so passionate. We talked about everything. She had so many terrible things to say about her husband and I thought that she was going to leave him for me. She said she was! Then one day, it all changed. She told me she needed space and then 3 months later she basically told me it was over. Now her and her husband are happily married and have a kid! I was torn up over that for the longest time and then my best friend slapped me in the back of the head and told me to tighten up! He said some people just want to have a fling before they settle into a long term relationship. Some people just want to have their cake and eat it too. Game recognized. I'm not saying that's the case here but, don't rule it out. Some people have sever emotional issues that cause them to act out and ruin relationships that could end up being the best thing that ever happened to them. Some people have chemical imbalances that require medication and therapy to help them to lead a normal life. Then there are some people that just aren't that great of people. Some people just don't think of how they hurt other people. I fit in the first two categories and live with remorse and regret every day for the times I hurt other people. It's wrong to lead people on and if you do it you should feel remorse for it. Do you think she lead you on and if she did do you think that she feels bad about it?

[Roxp84]

they go back to what they are use to, the familiar things (i've gone back to an ex 4times and she kept taking me back coz she loved me and then twice with another. i have cheated in past relationships. kinda like sabatoging my relationship, hurt them before they hurt me kinda thing.) and to ppl with BPD there are no grey areas, it's either white or black,  yes or no. so one day she can love u and the other hates you. it's hard for ppl with BPD to trust ppl, don't take it too personally. there are support groups (that u can find online/facebook) for ppl with loved ones with BPD or the person themselves.
hope this helps a lil..

[Lutreq]

Thanks for your replies. I appreciate them. I have no idea what she feels or doesnt feel , its like she turned herself into a total different person ( she always told me she was "sick" ) and even told me she plays this " game" with people called " how long will it take till you get tired of me". What hurts the most is that i always respected her and never asked to be in a relationship with her, she was the one who did everything ( since we met- all the interest etc ) and then screwed things. Yet , she didnt disappear but put a letter on my mailbox, a cryptic one " I will always love you" and sending me to her therapist.. who happens to be her adoptive grandmother ! ( its way too much). So i only wanted her to know that i held no remorse and that we could be friends but still she turned my friendship down, as if i had done something wrong to her. Then made it seem that it was Me, who screwed things up, distorting facts. Then i found out through one of my girlfriends that once we went out ( 4 people-me-my ex my friend and her bf ) she actually told my friends Bf that " he should be careful cause I can steal his gf " ... and she was completely happy with me at this stage. I think is very hard not to take something like this personal, especially when you come from a home where your mother acted in similar ways... You just want to understand why.

[Lutreq]

I found your response very Helpful man. I guess one just falls into a state of emotional shock when someone goes from extreme bright ( although always throwing warnings) and then Pitch Black, like you never existed for them.
I know that if so much unnecessary drama took place after only a month and a half (which was like taken out of a hollywood love movie from the 50´s ) then what would have happened if i had stayed for a longer time with her? i would have probably gotten dumped by her like she previously dumped the ex boyfriend ( and also cheated on) 3 times. However, it feels so surreal to be so intimate and close to someone in an intense way and all of a sudden for no reason is like Switch goes Off - after receiving this letter i even went there and talked things like an adult and she even said " i was not counting on seeing you in a long time" - " seeing you there now, just doesnt feel good ". Like i am the worst guy shes ever been with.- and still after this she posts pictures of her ex at her place ? this seems very intentional and also, just mean.
I deleted her from facebook and deleted her from my phone - so no contact whatsoever, But i do wonder if she will make another reapparance at least to say she is sorry or just.. something.  It is very frigthening to think someone can have no conscience whatsoever - even though they do show to be "victims" and use the self blame or blame others card ( she self blames herself) and " there is something about me that makes people run away from me " --- well, tell me about it.

[ConfusedBFofaBorder]

This all sounds too familiar. I feel deeply in love with a girl from my past. She just decided to not be in a relationship one day. Not only that, she suddenly cut off contact for the most part. On the other hand, she never quite will let me go. It's like I'm just there in case she needs me. I don't know whether what little hope she gives me is false hope or what. I don't think she even knows.