Feeling extremely stuck with a bf with possible BPD...
In the beginning, we started dating and he was very fun, open about himself, caring, and generous. He has ADHD and anxiety, which he takes meds for and I was totally willing to accept him for who he is. However, I feel like he doesn't exactly stick to the schedule and we also go out and drink alcohol almost every weekend (we are both 22) and sometimes do ecstasy recreationally. I just read about BPD, and it seems like this is the problem that he might have. He is very impulsive, especially with money and sexual relationships (from his past, at least I hope). He has an extreme fear of me cheating on him. I can barely have a conversation with a guy because he would think that I'm flirting or being hit on. One time a guy casually put his arms around me as a friendly gesture and he got extremely upset at me. He constantly calls/texts when he's not with me. He doesn't like me going out without him, and it's a process to be able to hang out with a good guy friend of mine or to go out and have a night out with my friend girl friend. Last but not least, he owes me about $4000 because I (stupidly) let him use my credit cards. He initially said he wanted to help me build up my credit score. He never missed a payment (except for last month he wasn't able to pay in full because his contract for his last job ended) and he does actualyl pay it off every month. But sometimes when I would ask about it he would get annoyed and think that I don't trust him. When I wanted him to stop using my credit cards he got mad. He says that he's using the cards for "us" and he does pay for a lot of things and pay it all back at the end of the month but I just don't feel comfortable especially with his spending habits. There's a bunch of other issues, but this is just a gist of it...
Please be careful. Rule number one never give your credit card to a friend or boyfriend. You share that with a husband. You may find yourself learning a 4000k lesson. Love is not controling. It sounds like he has insecurities for sure but party favors are not good for the mind and with him with these disorders might be flirting with disaster. I dpnt have a solution you have to decide that. Pay attention to those red flags then decide when you have seen enough. ps get you card back and cut it up. Good luck
Follow your gut instincts -- it's your inner "wise self" trying to guide you. I know you want to believe him (he may even believe himself) but he's crossing your boundaries. It's up to you not to let him cross your boundaries (prepare for him to become angry when he does not get his way). If he's an empathetic type, you might be able to make some headway by appealing to his emotions before he gets angry by explaining how you feel (without blaming him for your feelings) about the situation. . . depends.
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