Hi all. I've been diagnosed with GAD and MDD...currently, I'm on wellbutrin and lexapro. My doctor said that he doesn't like to use labels, but if anything he would say I'm dysthmic. However, as I'm reading these symptoms for BPD, I feel like I fall into that category. I think he has eluded to BPD by asking if I cut myself. That is probably the only thing on that list I don't do. Can anyone describe to me what their BPD feels like? (I know it's a very broad question).
Thank you very much for your reply :) My anxiety, anger, and depression are under control from the Wellbutrin and Lexapro. However, I still have the urge for substance abuse. I do not want to call myself an addict because I do not abuse one thing in particular. It's a number of things; I am simply addicted to instant gratification, i suppose. I was just wondering if that could be coming from the BPD, and if I need separate treatment.
Now you're gonna find this really f'ed up. I tried cutting myself tonight, not because I wanted to, but because I felt like if I did, I would have every symptom of BPD. I know you say labels are no important, but i'm so depressed again (bad things happened today) that I wanted to be able to label myself one thing : BPD instead of MDD, GAD, substance abuse, no sense of self worth, moody, instable in relationships, etc/
I read somewhere that if a person thinks he/she has BPD, probably the answer is "no". Most BPD 's do not recognize this disorder in themselves as they tend to blame others for all of their ills and problems in life. We have a BPD person in our family and there is no way she would ever admit that the "problems" in her life are remotely her fault. Has your doctor suggested any type of therapy as CBT? I know it has helped many others learn how to "manage" their fears and anxieties. I wish you the best ...
CBT - cognitive behavioural therapy. It is especially helpful in retraining the thinking process, especially in anxiety disorders (and both my mother and sister suffer from GAD so I have experience there, too). Any person with experience in handling anxiety disorders should be able to help you with this therapy or direct you to a person with this expertise. I have a close friend who was in CBT for a few weeks (she suffers from severe social anxiety) - it worked wonders for her! Of course, she had a very intuitive psychologist!
By the way, many people who suffer from anxiety (and GAD is one of the anxiety disorders) often have co-morbidity with other issues - depression and sensitivity issues being the most common. Substance abuse is also common for unresolved anxiety - I think it is often referred to as "self-medicating". The other things you mentioned - low self-esteem, moodiness, social issues are all very common to anxiety disorders. And the question re "cutting yourself" by your doctor might have just been to give the doctor an idea of how "depressed" you were (and nothing about BPD).
Anxiety is so complex that people often overlook the effect it has on so many parts of a life. When my friend was able to "manage" her anxieties, her other issues lessened; but, it took time and patience. It appears your medication is helping you in this respect; however, our psychologist claims that medication will not "cure" anxiety - a multi-modal approach is necessary (intervention, therapy and possibly medication). Hope this helps ...
Self-mutilation is usually preciptitated by anger, either at yorself or another person and hurting yourself allows the pain to go away, at least for a short period of time.
I used to self mutilate myself and finally relaixed that all I was doing was deforming my body and that I was only obtaining short-term relief from the issues that were really bothering me.
I also have an adictive personality and I'm susepticle to abusing any and all medications or alcohol. I've been sober for 7 plus years now and know that all those years I was drinking and using drugs, all I was actually doing is self-medicating my underlying issues.
You need to seek help from a mental health provider who can evaluate you much better than anyone here could ever do. If you find the right counselor and connect with them, you'll find your life getting better almost immediately. If you don't connect with your counselor, ou don't have to stay with them, just request a change until you find someone you feel comfortable talking with. Your treatment may also include the use of medication(s) and these should be taken exactly as they are prescribed even though you may want to abuse them.
I hope this information helps you. Now it's up to you to decide where you go from here and hopefully uou'll make the right choice.
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