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How to talk to my friend with BPD
Hello all!
I find myself here needing some help on how to talk to one of my best friends. Though she has not been officially diagnosed with BPD, it seems to be the only thing that 100% explains her behavior.
Her and her sister are two of my best friends, so just in case I will be calling them "Diane- BPD" and Michelle "the worried sister".
The main issue that Michelle and I are noticing with Diane is that she has MAJOR jealousy. Jealousy to the point of pulling out her hair and placing it on the pillow of her "boyfriends" bed so that "all the ****** will know" that he is taken. Oh, totally didn't mention this... she is also married! And is extremely jealous in her marriage as well.
Michelle and I are wanting to talk to Diane about her issues, but she is in complete denial. She has no clue that what she is doing is not only wrong, but comes off crazy and unstable. We are scared that this could lead to much more violent behavior, especially if she loses one of the men in her life. So how do we go about talking to her? I know that she will be offended, be defensive and even down right angry at the two of us, which is okay to an extent. But how exactly do you talk to someone about their mental state when they don't even think that they have a problem?
I find myself here needing some help on how to talk to one of my best friends. Though she has not been officially diagnosed with BPD, it seems to be the only thing that 100% explains her behavior.
Her and her sister are two of my best friends, so just in case I will be calling them "Diane- BPD" and Michelle "the worried sister".
The main issue that Michelle and I are noticing with Diane is that she has MAJOR jealousy. Jealousy to the point of pulling out her hair and placing it on the pillow of her "boyfriends" bed so that "all the ****** will know" that he is taken. Oh, totally didn't mention this... she is also married! And is extremely jealous in her marriage as well.
Michelle and I are wanting to talk to Diane about her issues, but she is in complete denial. She has no clue that what she is doing is not only wrong, but comes off crazy and unstable. We are scared that this could lead to much more violent behavior, especially if she loses one of the men in her life. So how do we go about talking to her? I know that she will be offended, be defensive and even down right angry at the two of us, which is okay to an extent. But how exactly do you talk to someone about their mental state when they don't even think that they have a problem?
In all honesty? I would just be blunt, and tell her in a very forward way.
Just keep in mind that people with Borderline Personality Disorder see love as a very black and white thing. So basically she sees it at either they hate me or the love me. There is nothing in between. So, with this in mind you need to remind her that you are telling her this because you love her, so that she doesn't go all crazy and think that you hate her. Her feeling like you hate her could be devastating to her because all of her emotions are amplified as part of the disorder as well. (like fear turns into anxiety, disappointment into devastation, dislike into hate ect.)
Does this make sense?
Just keep in mind that people with Borderline Personality Disorder see love as a very black and white thing. So basically she sees it at either they hate me or the love me. There is nothing in between. So, with this in mind you need to remind her that you are telling her this because you love her, so that she doesn't go all crazy and think that you hate her. Her feeling like you hate her could be devastating to her because all of her emotions are amplified as part of the disorder as well. (like fear turns into anxiety, disappointment into devastation, dislike into hate ect.)
Does this make sense?
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