202665 tn?1248810333
Infidelity and BPD
Is there anyone living with infidelity and BPD?  I have BPD and BPII.  I've been married 14 years but have not been faithful.  I absolutely do try..but when I am depressed or someone wants to pay me a lot of attention...often i do not catch myself in time.

Others think I am using BPD as an excuse for my behaior but I'm not.  My wife is a saint and has been willing to forgive so far, but I feel extremely guilty for doing these things to her - and am afraid I will fall more times until I can get to a point of recovery.

So the question is do you end the relationship where trust and dependability has been broken...or keep it together and keep trying?  ...and yes, we have two young, amazing boys.
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1251312 tn?1271363250
I understand exactly what your talking about. I've been married for almost 24 years. It is still a fight you just have to keep on fighting. Hang in there.

I was just diagnosed a couple of weeks ago. I didn't have a clue why my whole outlook on sex had changed all of a sudden. I had all of these crazy thoughts about it all the time and not with my husband. Your right, if someone showed me attention it really got me going. Then I would have feelings of guilt just for feeling that way. I would notice that the only time I felt good or happy was when I was talking or thinking about sex. I was on my highs then. Right now i'm more on the low side and I don't really know how I feel. I still have these sudden off the wall sexual thoughts and I don't know if I can trust myself. It makes me very sad to be this way.
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1079218 tn?1297032444
I have been diagnosed with BPD amoungst other infirmaties, such as PTSD, DID, the list goes on, my understanding of Borderline Personality Disorder BPD is a preconditioning effect that we have received from a traumatic event or events in our life.  We can only recover from it by facing & learning new coping skills of dealing with the past events of our lives.  Until we are totally honest with ourselves & therapists we aren't going to be able to control our condition.  We will attempt & fail until we seek out new skills to cope with what is driving us to use our coping skill set that isn't acceptable any longer for us to use.

I've undergone a wonderful class known as "DBT" I can't remember what the acroynm stands for but it taught me coping skills different than the skill that I was using to deal with the traumatic events that preconditioned me for those skills that I was using.
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Stay away from situations that are tempting and provide opportunity.  Avoid people who do not respect your marriage.  When you meet someone who you could potentially have sex with, immediately start talking about your spouse and children and/or leave.  Go home.  Plan activities with your family. GO HOME.  You will not only hurt your spouse but you could destroy your children, even causing them to go through your same struggles.  GO HOME.  Change jobs, move to a new town, whatever is necessary.  GO HOME to your spouse and kids, remove yourself from temptation.  Nothing, and I mean NOTHING excuses infidelity and dishonesty nor does it make it hurt less for those involved, including your boys.  You are their example, be a good one despite your challenges.  GO HOME.
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I have just recently been told i have a personality disorder but i never realized that the thoughts i have towards sex were caused by it. I have been faithful for 13yrs to this partner, i admit before that i was never faithful and when i went out i wanted to have sex with other people, being honest if i went out and the way i have been feeling lately i would do it again. I just feel the need for that comfort to know i am wanted and liked. I don't like this but its like a need when something goes wrong, like yesterday i am very depressed and i went and spent alot of money on my children, or i plan my suicide its a form of escape for me, probably not right but its there.
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Wy wife of 27 years has recently started hooking up on a website for random sex.  Ibleve she has BPD, Is hter anyting I can do?
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1916426 tn?1322411683
I apologize but I do believe it is a choice not the illness.
Borderline personality Disorder can be cured if You are willing to put in the effort and time.
Personally, I think if it continues You should let her go and let her be free.
To have a male You love who you have children too do that is VERY damaging even just on one occasion
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