My T called on Thursday to see how my week had been going? I saw her the Thursday b-4 I told her great....That my husband had actually commented how plesant I was this week. Then I told her ..I have no memory of our session or why she would be calling me..She said that I had told her that being here hurt too much but I had no way out Is this memory loss..dissociation or what
Hi, I have had a few dissociative episodes and what you describe sounds like one. I think they can happen when we are hurting or sometimes when we are angry. My psychologist says that as long as I am 'engaged' in something it wouldn't happen. I have four grandchildren and it really concerned me that I might dissociate when I was caring for them...but that hasn't happened and I don't worry about it as being with them usually lifts me up. Are you taking any medication that you think works for you? I am trying to get more info. re: meds as my mood is more down and I think I need meds again
First I want to thank you for responding to my post.I posted on the 16th. and have been waiting.........Maybe you and I are the only two on this site that dissociates I've had time to think about it and I agree I have these eposides during times of great emotional pain or extream anger. I also have three grandchildren and I have never lost time with them in my care. Actually they help me stay better focsed. Thank you for your nput and responding to mee...BE Blessed
The date is Feb.11 and after having a melt down at at mt pdoc office today I am going to start DBT. He reassured me that the eposides of dissociation are classic to BPD especially when under a lot of stress. I'm surprised no one knew that on this site, when I asked the question. But now you do if in the future someone asks.
I read a little about your situation. I have had two friends that i suspect are BPD. I am not going to insult you and tell you that I know what you are going through because honestly I don't. I will tell you that the fact you are seeking help is awesome. I believe BPD is treatable. Just know that I appreciate you.
Write me anytime, help me to understand more.
I have lost huge chunks of memory, usually during trama or stress but even at other times. I am even having short term memory loss now. My husband and family are my memory or pictures. I have lots of flash backs but there only of trama nothing good. Its like I've lost my life some how. I have mentioned this to the doctors many times but nothing was ever said or done. All the therapy, endless therapy that I can't remember and she would get frustrated with me cause she 'd say wev'e discussed this before. I finally just said I must be stupid, but if they new about this boy am I angry. Its raging this was not fair. nothing is ever fair in this world. Now do you understand why I have trust issues
I have BPD. I also disassociate. I never realized that I did it; I just thought I had a bad memory. When people would act shocked that I could not recall an event I would make a joke about it even though it really scared me. The memory loss is so complete that even if you show me photos or walk me through the situation moment by moment, I still cannot recall the memory. It is as if I was not there. It is a distressing thing to live with, especially when dealing with the other issues associated with BPD. I am very grateful that I have found a therapist that only works with BPD patients and PTSD patients. Many believe BPD is a manifestation of PTSD. It is the first time that I feel like I am getting better. But along with getting better comes the experience of dealing with feelings -- and us BPDs are not usually so great at that. My goal is that I want to connect with myself and others. It is not that I cannot love others or even myself, but I never feel fully connected. I am ready. And I too believe that we can get better. The percentage of us getting better is so low because most BPDs don't think there is anything wrong with them. If you recognize that something is not right than you can make it better. I am sure of it and I have seen improvements in myself. Anyway, I just wanted to give some hope to those out there and stress that you really need to find a therapist that is knowledgeable about BPD and disassociation.
This was a old post but not for nil. I believe someone other than me needed to hear what was being said about disassociation.I don't don't know how it got pulled up It's been happening a lot on other sites as well.
I spent 4 years with a group and indiv. therapy working on intergrating and staying present, also the ptsd, at one time I was diag. Multiple.
Thank you for comming on line and posting I know it helped me and I'm sure someone else.Take Care
Wow, I either haven't been told or read about this before, or "I forgot or didn't process this." But, I relate to this discussion and am happy to have seen it mentioned here as it is something to bring up with my therapist. This may well explain some things for me and has opened up some new areas to "explore." Thanks for sharing. Even though I frequently feel that I am so "different" than the rest of the population and that "nobody" understands what I live with, I can come here and see that "I am not alone." It helps so much to know that. So, thanks to everyone for sharing. Although I "and possibly many others just like me" tend to be more non-communicative rather than communicative, we are out here.
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