Need Advice on Coping with Borderline Parent

My sister and I are really struggling to find proper support for our borderline mother.  For the past decade our mom has been unable to hold down a job because she causes too many problems with her colleagues once she does land a job.  At this point she has not worked in nearly four years, she lost her apartment and is now living with my recently married sister and brother-in-law in their 1-bedroom apartment.  For the past year my sister and I have tried to help my mom find a job to no avail.  She dismisses our advice and when she does land a job interview, she blows it--every time.  My mom consistently lies to my sister and brother-in-law and she will burst into fits of rage if they confront her about her lies.  Growing up is the same as it was with any borderline parent: verbally abusive, manipulative, and distant.  I'm 32 years old and I still feel I don't know who my mom really is.  Neither myself nor my sister can afford to send my mom to a home or even for proper medical care.  My mom is 52 and does not qualify for any state (California) or federal benefits because it is extremely difficult to "prove" BPD.  Last time I was there I took her to the county Dept of Behavioral Health, but they have only prescribed her with anti-depressants.  They also offered group therapy but apparently she is no longer welcome to these sessions (my sister could not get a real explanation from my mom about what happened).  We are all at wits end with my mom.  We just don't know how to help her.  She can't continue living with my sister (I moved far away long ago in fear that my mom would end up living with me) and we cannot put her out into the streets as she is still our mom.  

Any advice on how we can move forward would be sincerely appreciated.

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Your situation is very challenging in many ways. I know from experience what borderlines are like and how difficult living with one can be. It's also not realistic to simply dump the person with BPD.

Anti-depressants help with some of the common symptoms of BPD, as do anti-anxiety meds, mood stabilizers, and even anti-psychotics when needed. But they do not address the underlying personality disorder itself. The gold standard for treatment is dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). You should be able to find a DBT-certified therapist in CA who will offer treatment on a sliding scale gauged to your ability to pay.

There are also several good books for people living with someone who has BPD, such as "Stop Walking on Eggshells," and you might find some useful tips in them (or you may already have figured out everything in them). Similarly, there are books on DBT for both people with the disorder and those living with them. Local libraries tend to be well-stocked with books on BPD, so you can use those without any expense.

Hope this helps. Glad you're still trying to find ways to help your mother.