Need to know whether keeping this relationship is pointless or not......

2 years ago I moved back to Virginia from Florida. I ran into my ex husband. We split up/divorced because he had an affair and was doing illegal drugs. I left even though I loved him because I felt it was the right thing to do at the time. At that time he went through job after job, and could not hold one. It became an impossible relationship.
When I ran into him , I could feel all the old feelings resurfacing. Like I mention, I loved him, I was extremely attracted to him. Other than the issues that split us up it was like we were made for each other.
He wanted to talk to me, call or text , and I thought really carefully about this. Debating on whether I should get involved with him again. I chose to talk to him on the phone. I found out that he had stopped using drugs, had started his own business , which he had been running sucessfully for the past 6 years. We talked about our past ,and the mistakes both he and I had made, and Decided to try again and see where it took us.
  He told me he was single. This was his first lie. But by the time I found out he was seeing someone (and had been for the past 6 years) I felt that I was already involved. He then put me through a roller coaster of things. He went back and forth between her and I for months. I would tell him that I was done and through with it all only to have him call or come over and tell me he loved me. ( I know that this was the time when I should have said good bye to him and moved on, But I hoped in my heart that it was true) He eventually ended his relationship with this woman. He said he had suspected her of cheating and had found out that it was true. He said they had been arguing before I showed up, and had already broken up, but that they were still arguing with each other.
After the girlfriend "thing" we tried to start dating. I am used to a pattern or set of guidelines I think most people follow, for example, you do things together, you might go to the beach or plan a date. Moving into maybe having thanksgiving at one or the other's families house, you see a gradual closeness. Instead if I went to his house with out calling I would be told to go away. But he would come to my house with out calling. One week he was totally in love, the next week he was blaming me for comments or experiences that happened 8 or 9 years ago. He would have me so upset I just wanted it over, but then he would call and say that he was sorry. IF I asked him why he said or did something he would say he didnt remember saying it.  WHen he would come over he would stay for twenty min or so, then leave. He could never get comfortable. He would go through periods of extreme anxiety , where he would stalk back and forth , eyes would be all shifty, and he would be paranoid about crazy things. I told him that he needed to see a therapist and talk with someone about these problems. Eventually he started accusing me of cheating on him. He started telling me that I was talking to people on line, which I wasnt. one day he got really mad and told me that he threw away the photo albums and pictures from our wedding. He said that the trash man got it all. He gave me the silent treatment, which he does every two to three weeks, everytime he is mad or upset at something. A week later his house is broken into and the only things taken were the photo albums and his wedding ring. He then accuses me of robbery, and has the police sent to my house. I tell them that it was not me. About 3 months later after another outburst, he starts sending me picture messages of pictures from those albums....the same ones that were supposedly stolen. When I asked where they came from he said from the album in the closet, like nothing .  He finally started seeing a therapist,which I have never met. They told him he has OCD for pulling his hair out, and washing his hands stuff like that, but he wont tell me what else is wrong. I know that he went to see them and he was in such a state one day that they called someone over from the hospital to give him a shot to calm him down. Ever since going to the dr.s he has been sending me messages and text telling me that I am bi polar, or manipulative , ect. Its text after text of crap. Since being back or trying to be back with him I have done nothing mean, or manipulative. I have helped him in his job, fixed things around his house, been there for him when he is sick. He has made dates and no shown up, never called, picked fights, ect. The final straw was it has been over a month since talking to him. I told him I was just done I couldnt deal with it anymore. He sent me a text and I responded and told him to please leave me alone , he then called my job, and in an angry voice told me he was filing a protective order against me. I went to the police station to talk with them about what I should do. THey told me he had indeed been there that morning. But that they had told him there was nothing that they could do. They said he showed them text I sent back in responses to his messages and that there was nothing in them that would warrent a protective order against me. He did not take their word for it and went to the magistrate to see if they could issue one and they told him the same thing.

I believe that he needs serious help. I know he said they prescribed lithium or something of that nature but I dont think he is taking it all. My problem is that he always eventually shows up again. He will say he is sorry, remind me that I love him, or want to be with him. Says he wont do this anymore, says he is getting help. But it always happens again. I told him I thought he was bi-polar or something to that effect. He says that I blame him for everything and then he turns around and says that its my fault. That I provoke him. Or I caused him to be this way. I do not know what to do. I am taking the officers advice and have not sent any text, email or tried to contact him in any way. I just dont understand why he does this. I have asked him if he really thinks this behavior makes it any better, he just keeps getting worse, and going to the extreme. He does not act like a normal person acts when they are in a relationship with someone. Any help would be appreciated. I would love for him to get the help that he needs, but I cant be the one to give it to him anymore. He has sufficiantly cut me out of his life....

[Sangha7]

I would like to offer my sincere condolences for what you have been through. I commend you for giving it a second chance. Now you know that you did everything humanly possible to offer unconditional love and support. I like the Serenity prayer in this instance where you ask your higher self or G-d to grant you the courage to change the things you can and the wisdom to know the difference.

You can't change him and offering true love and support did not work. Although he does love you his illness is preventing a healthy relationship. You must accept this and move on. My mom says it's like a living death. I don't know if it's that dramatic (it may be).
You must move forward with your life and put all that wonderful loving energy into yourself. It could be in the form of supporting yourself so that you can volunteer for a cause you believe in. It doesn't have to be selfish, contracted, or closed off. You definitely need a breather and a good friend. Surround yourself with supportive, loving, understanding people. Perhaps, consider therapy to learn more about yourself and to heal what is injured. Look within and in time you'll have resolve, acceptance, and courage to love again (if that's what you want).  

Best of Luck