Borderline Personality Disorder Community
Online DBT program?
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Online DBT program?

I am a 25-year old male with borderline personality disorder and I am seeking help.

I grew up in Jakarta until I was 18 years of age. I studied in the US from August 2005 -May 2012. I have come back to live in Jakarta for good on May 21st 2012. Only a couple of days had passed since I left the US when I wrote this note.

It might fun to think of the fact that I am living in another country but I am the one who's living the bleak reality here. I have a borderline personality disorder. I am facing reintegration problems to my old culture. I have a phobia with metal and static electricity. I can't work because I have scoliosis and lumbar hernia. I am angry all the time, scared all the time.

Growing up was very extremely difficult. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder in 2010. The person who diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder was a school therapist. I was 23 years old. Prior to that, I had seen 7 therapists. I have met 2 others after I was diagnosed but all ended in similar fashion: I left in a huff after several meetings. You would easily say that I needed to stick around longer but it is hard for me.

I was angry all the time because I have never really gotten the cure. I was angry because so much of my life was wasted. I am angry because it took that long for me to get a label. I feel like the therapists were holding out on me. I feel like the therapists were keeping me around so that I would keep paying money but I was a college student. I feel cheated.

I am feeling extremely bad today (05/23). I am angry because I hate the culture here. I hate that I have to leave my life in the US. I hate the people here. I hate because nobody understands. I am escalating with every day passed.

I can't just do nothing. I called the psychiatry department of one of the most prominent hospitals in Jakarta today (05/23). I have never gone to a therapist in Jakarta. They werent sure what to answer when I asked," What are the specialities of the therapists?". I have been with 9 therapists. I am not feeling confident at all.

I need somebody I can chat with, somebody I can utter my day-by-day predicaments with especially during this trying transitioning time. An online DBT program is best for me in my opinion. Do you offer an online DBT program? What is the best treatment option for me?



12 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_m_tn
I am 33 BPD male, also studied in in USA, but I was back 10 years ago. I know how you feel. It is not easy to live in Jakarta. But I am surviving until now an I even got married to a wonderful wife. :) Btw just wondering, do you have a group support, like family support or friend support that can feel your life? You definitely need it

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Avatar_m_tn
I do not have support groups.  
I am very volatile nowadays choosing to lock myself in my room for days to come. Five months have passed since I came back in May, still no prospect of anything happening
I was super angry all the time, got bent out of shape with the slightest provocation but at least I had a burning desire to get better. Now I am just apathetic and tired
The severity of BPD differs with each case so spare me the “it is easy, you are fine you will get better” sentiment. Please reply me the support group that has helped you. I need an intervention.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi

I know how hard it can be to live in Jakarta if you don't feel good and seek help. Have you try that website ? http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/
Have you read a ton of books about the Borderline syndrom (syndrome) ? Trying to know more about what you have is probably one of the best way to fight it. You are not gonna live all your life with that, you have to keep hope. Good luck and don't waste time with therapist if you don't trust them but keep looking for a good one.

Take Care

Francois

ps : I advise you to read the book of Susan Jeffers : Feel the fear but do it anyway.It's not particularly about Bordelrline disorders but it can be helpful.
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440154_tn?1204782554
Hi Jakarta123,

I'm also in the process of looking for a therapist, maybe this one might be helpful for you, as the therapist is a US grad. I believe most of the clients are expats. Check out http://www.icacservices.org/  The doc's name is Sherly Solihin.

i haven't gone there myself since the cost is way above my budget. But i hope they can help you.

and also i found watching this Dutch guy with BPD vlog on youtube a big help..  http://www.youtube.com/meandmyblacktable

just remember you're not alone...
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Avatar_m_tn
Again,"I need somebody I can chat with, somebody I can utter my day-by-day predicaments with..".

Have read and researched six BPD books; Hows that i've been afflicted for over two years and not been learning all about my own condition, unbelievable

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Avatar_m_tn
I also think twice about paying $110/session at ICAC with sherly. They have turned down my request for a sliding scale rate on april.

I used to be able to get a it down to $40/session when I was a student
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Avatar_f_tn
hi there, i have borderline personality disorder and bi plolar disorder. There is a online dbt class which you can look up. just type in google online dbt class. i joined one which is from yahoo. i found myself that i need someone to teach it to me. but if you can teach yourself then this course is for you
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Avatar_m_tn
hi there
i am also bpd. i have severe depression too.
i am also in a foreign country, and have made a huge mistake emigrating. unfortunately i cannot go back to my own country. i might be able to empathize with you. i am living a nightmare. the only time i am at peace is when i am asleep. do you wanna talk? can we help each other? i am at a loss...
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi there,

I'm an expat living here in Jakarta. I've been married to my Indonesian husband for almost 6 years now...never thought marriage would survive this long. Lol! I've just recently found out about BPD when I was looking for forums about marriage problems! Now, I am researching a lot about BPD and how to help him. I love him so much I am willing to always be here for him. I just hope and pray that God will always give me the strength, patience, understanding and love for him because sometimes I really feel like giving up already whenever he is having some 'episodes'.  I was wondering if there's any support group for BPD here in Jakarta. My husband and I feel like he is the only one with BPD in this country!
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Avatar_f_tn
hey, i have similar condition with you. The difference is i am 17 female, and native indonesian. Actually, i havent medically diagnosed yet but i am very sure i have bpd symptoms with me. I really want to seek a doctor in indonesia to medically diagnose me and have the right treatment right away, because i should stay in the netherlands in a couple months and i believe medical fee there should be more expensive. But, i am quite aware if how bad indonesian doctors are (about money that you've mentioned) and bpd is not yet becoming a concern here. So, have you met the right doctor yet? Is there any advice for me how to start the treatment or where i should be diagnosed? Thanks.
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Avatar_f_tn
hey, i have similar condition with you. The difference is i am 17 female, and native indonesian. Actually, i havent medically diagnosed yet but i am very sure i have bpd symptoms with me. I really want to seek a doctor in indonesia to medically diagnose me and have the right treatment right away, because i should stay in the netherlands in a couple months and i believe medical fee there should be more expensive. But, i am quite aware if how bad indonesian doctors are (about money that you've mentioned) and bpd is not yet becoming a concern here. So, have you met the right doctor yet? Is there any advice for me how to start the treatment or where i should be diagnosed? Thanks.
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Avatar_f_tn
Go to dr. Andri at omni hospital in alam sutera. I have bpd and i went there. He provides dbt session in english. He is also able to speak in english too
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