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1540869_tn?1351217613
Please don't judge....
Sometimes when i get mad or upset or i feel like I've done something wrong i hit myself in the face or i pull my hair. I know it's stupid I'm a 21 year old woman and it's pathetic but I can't help it. I don't know what else to do when i get angry. I do have Borderline Personality Disorder so i know this is an impulse directed at myself. But it's beginning to make me really upset, is this something that i can tell my therapist? I never used to just get snapping anger outbursts at myself but it just happens when i get really upset, is there anything i can do about this? I am on medication, obviously it's not working too well. Also I have crying outbursts if i feel like I've hurt anyone's feelings in any kind of way , i feel like i should be punished. Or if I'm frustrated i just start crying and sobbing, for long periods of time. I don't eat a lot then sometimes I can't stop eating. I have the worst diet i don't eat healthy or i feel to sick to eat a lot of the time. I have major stomach problems, sometimes can't go to the bathroom, my stomach always hurts, is in knots. I have feelings a lot of being worthless, wish i was invisible, don't ever feel good enough. (this happens when I'm really depressed). I have the biggest fear of hospitals so if i feel really really sick i won't go. I most of the time feel like I'm in my own head , i think way too much and over analyze.
And if I'm feeling really really bad sometimes i throw up to punish myself.
Help? or opinions? Does anyone else ever feel these ways or am i a lone?
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1914229_tn?1324886328
No just a week ago I dug my nails in my face not to hard
I was just so upset with what was going on
I have almost all of your feeling
I feel empty or wish I didn't look the way I did so men won't bother me
So lately I've been eating so much :/
I use to cut myself and havent  in a while
But idk if it's something u or I should tell a therapist it's there obligation to tell if we are hurting ourself so it's up to you
I find these forums very helpful since we Allenby know eachother
The things I share on here have helped me
Your not alone practicing self control when you feel like hurting yourself
There's just so much to our bpd :/ i wish I knew you a lil better to actually help.... Just know your not alone<3 I as well as others are going thru it now
Sometimes I wish I was just normal!  Throwing up isn't healthy I'm sure you know :/ keeping yourself accompanied can maybe stop you from the crying and maybe throwing up ?? Cause I know when my best friend is over I won't cry at all but I can't wait for her to leave so I can let it out but lately keeping myself busy has helped and my ex triggered most of my anger sadness outburst manic episodes and since I stopped talking to him I feel a little better is there anything that triggers you??
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Please don't judge....
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