I recently discovered that I had a 1 to 1.5 inch tumor in my frontal lobe. I've struggled with things like maintaining relationships with people who I've met recently. I don't show signs of any social disorders but I'm still really struggling to keep people around. I think I have problems with empathy. For example, recently I've had several fights with my girlfriend that started over me saying something I thought was harmless and it turning out to offend her severely. She is my first serious girlfriend, I believe because she is the best at coping with my behavior and seeing beyond the disorder. Any relationships before her were largely unsuccessful. I fear that this relationship may not last much longer as our fights over nothing are becoming more common. I love her to death but can't seem to behave correctly at all times around her. Turbulent relationships with friends are another example of side effects of whatever disorder I may be suffering. Fights and arguments out of small incidents are common, mostly between me and my newer friends. My relationships can be very good so long as they remain as school relationships and nothing deeper than that. Family problems are common as well. Motivation to excel is very "up and down" as my parents describe it. I have a hard time maintaining a grasp of my own identity as a person and my confidence in myself tends to waver between extreme confidence on the verge of cockiness and complete self-pity and loathing. A compliment can make me and a criticism can break me. The criticisms usually lead to extreme anger on my part. I don't have any idea what could be wrong but I feel that my personality is not that of a normal healthy person. Is there anyone who can give me a clue as to what may be happening?
A frontal lobe tumor could potentially account for the issues that you describe. I guess that if the psychological issues predated the tumor, you could be dealing with a pre-existing personality disorder -- maybe and maybe not. It's also quite possible that you have no "mental" disorder at all and that you are just experiencing the difficulties of normal life and relationships. LIfe isn't necessarily all that easy, for most people. If you really need to know for sure if you have bpd, the best way to find out is to be evaluated by a psychiatrist or psychotherapist. If you are being followed by a neurologist for your brain tumor, you could ask him or her if that's a good idea. Sorry for your troubles.
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