Questions

Hi,

I haven't been diagnosed with BPD, but I recognise a lot of the characteristics in myself. I feel empty, like something is missing. I hit and scratch myself when I feel bad. I love my mother very much, but lash out at her when she does something that I don't like. I also become very angry when she goes somewhere without me. Some days I will be mad at her, then after the anger has subsided, I'll have no idea why I was angry in the first place.
Most days, I'll eat to the point of making myself ill. I just can't stop. Some days I just feel as though I can't control anything, which upsets me because I feel as though I need to be in control; of everything, what others do and say, as well as myself.
Sometimes, everything gets too much and I just think it would be easier to end it all. I sometimes take more than my prescribed amount of anti-depressants, just to see what would happen; I'm not really sure if I want to take too many or not.

However, I have good days, where I can keep most things under control. Sometimes, the good days last for a week or so, before the bad ones come along again.

No matter what I do, I still feel the emptiness.

I am wondering whether people who are diagnosed with BPD have the same fluctuations or behaviours as I do? I just need some guidance and help... I'm not sure what to do.

[dalesgirl80]

Please read my blog- Perhaps it can help you find some answers. Been living with suffering from and surviving BPD for many, many years....been chronicalling through my life's journey for 18 years in my journals. Recently, I started blogging...I just look at is a peek into my journals- Like, I'm sharing my thoughts, pains, feelings and life with the world....or at least whoever reads it. notalone-chloejane.blogspot.com Perhaps you might relate to some of the things I go through, either way, you can find out for sure..... Also, if your on twitter follow me @chloezone - I am part of an amazing support system for all who struggle with any type of mental illness....diagnosed or not, if your in pain... you deserve support! Hope that helps ya darlin!

[C_hurtin]

Hey I was recently diagnosed with bpd, totally understand what your saying cause I'm exactly the same....when I have good days they are great and I know it's been a good day but when the bad days come I can't accept it's because the bpd I look for excuses and sometimes don't even realise till a few days later that yea that was a bad day....iv started therapy and at the moment...feeling positive about that...there is help there it's just hard accepting and getting to the appointments...in my case!!!you will be ok though,if you ever want to talk just message me!!!((())) big hugs xcx